TPO-10 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by H_Ata on Mon, 10/01/2018 - 18:06

Children need to play in their childhood, and one useful category for them is computer games. They spend their time whether to have joy and to make their time happy or to learn new thing from these types of games. Some kinds of games attain perfect things for children; therefore, I think they should play the video game to learn new issue, and I am going to illustrate this from these two reasons.
First of all, some types of video games have many creative things in them, and children learn how to be imaginative and solve the problems in them. I think an extraordinary video game is a design to improve children’s mind, make them creative, and lead them to be competitive. For example, some computer games, which is had more puzzled style, such as chess, card games, backgammon, and Sudoku help children to be more thoughtful, and, in this type of games, they force to use their creativity to win. As a result, playing this sort of game gradually changes children’s mind to be powerful. From my experience, I tended to play these games, and when I grow up, my mind has adapted to solve sophisticated problems, which I have faced in my major. I also played some challenging games that led to having my personality, which is more competitive. As you can see, a suitable kind of video game helps children to be more creative in their life.
Secondly, video game obtains fun and joy for children who like to be more energetic. Design of this ilk of the game must be transformed children emotions, and the more players the game has, the more joy the game is; thus, the better game is designed for more children who are an inclined multiplayer function. This issue leads children to find more friends and spend a happier time with each other. For instance, I remember that when I was fifteen years old, I went to a game club that had many juveniles at the same age. Due to this condition, I found many new friends in this place; therefore, when we finished the game, we spend more time with each other and have more intimacy as well. Thus, joyful type of video game makes children find more friend wanting to spend fun time with each other.
In sum, playing video game allows children to be more creative and joyful. They learn from suitable types of video games to solve difficult problems and make themselves creative; in addition, they make their time more joyful and funny. I think the developer of video games should design more creative and funny game for children.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 476, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'using'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'force' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: using
... and, in this type of games, they force to use their creativity to win. As a result, p...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, well, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, kind of, sort of, such as, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2045.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 441.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.63718820862 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4899962333 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 212.727598566 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.437641723356 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 637.2 618.680645161 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.6367921484 48.9658058833 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.631578947 100.406767564 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2105263158 20.6045352989 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.57894736842 5.45110844103 157% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.199405388374 0.236089414692 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0916078022107 0.076458572812 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0461054035291 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145145951632 0.150856017488 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0180615780949 0.0645574589148 28% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 11.7677419355 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.93 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.39 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.