The main duty of parents is to prepare their children to become the responsible adult in the future. Even though there are some arguments on whether parents encourage their child to do a part-time job or not, I believe it is better to try such a job before turning adult. I will explore the reasons for the following essay.
To begin with, doing a part-time job will provide an opportunity to know what a child really wants to do in the future. The part-time job is the first step in choosing a suitable and engaging major for the child. It also helps to avoid wasting time to study in a field that is not fit for them. For example, one of my relative sisters loves coding and majoring in computer science. However, after she graduated, the atmosphere of the work did not appeal her at all. Even though how much she loves doing it, she could not work effectively without any communication with others in a work. If she had tried this job before chose her major, she would not have wasted a much time.
Another reason is, children will be more independent if they try a part-time job. Moreover, it will give a broad range of knowledge about how to spend the money they earn efficiently. Because they know how hard to get it, they will probably do not want to waste it on trivial things. Also, children learn about to solve problems associated with money by themselves which is one of the vital characteristics of the successful adult. The experience of a part-time job will obviously help the children to be the one who is useful for the society.
All in all, most parents agree with the pros of doing a part-time job outweigh the cons of it which will give a right path for their children in the future.
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- TOEFL T P O 12 Integrated Writing Task 46
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 664, Rule ID: A_MUCH_NN1[1]
Message: Maybe you should omit the article "a", leaving only 'much'.
Suggestion: much
...se her major, she would not have wasted a much time. Another reason is, children wi...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, moreover, really, so, for example, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 13.8261648746 22% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1401.0 1977.66487455 71% => OK
No of words: 312.0 407.700716846 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.49038461538 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20279927342 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48410256079 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.541666666667 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 439.2 618.680645161 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 30.0971733515 48.9658058833 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.5625 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.625 5.45110844103 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297813741455 0.236089414692 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105026487254 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0688162263879 0.0737576698707 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.202618415943 0.150856017488 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0481985935082 0.0645574589148 75% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 11.7677419355 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.76 10.9000537634 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 56.0 86.8835125448 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.