The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance.
Given is the chart providing information about the proportion of various factors in order to impact work performance of the whole staff. It is clearly seen that, workers, aged 18-30 are more likely to be affected by the indicated factors than the older ones.
A glance at the chart reveals that, 85 % of the younger group is motivated by an opportunity for their personal development while it is only 40 % in the older group. Furthermore, the relaxed working environment and promotion of prospects were also estimated as indispensable factors by 80 % of 18-30 aged people and it was followed by 40 % and 45 % of older group respectively. In addition, in terms of the effect of money, work environment ad team spirit both groups showed the similar pattern.
According to the chart it can also be observed that, except two factors; the influence of competent boss and respect from colleagues, in the other cases 18- 30 aged people are more vulnerable to the effect of the indicated factor.
Overall, opportunities for development and spirit of groups are considered the most effective factor for the younger and older groups accordingly.
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work environment ad team spirit both groups showed the similar pattern.
both work environment and team spirit groups showed the similar pattern.
except two factors; the influence of competent boss and respect from colleagues, in the other cases 18- 30 aged people are more vulnerable to the effect of the indicated factor.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence? why you put a semicolon ';' here?
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 188 200
No. of Characters: 917 1000
No. of Different Words: 108 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.703 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.878 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.8 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 64 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 48 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 32 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.06 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.446 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.747 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4