Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

Here is the essay I came up with

Supermarkets are gaining popularity in many countries. Some people argue that small local businesses are finding it extremely difficult to survive in the midst of swift growth and development of supermarkets and that the local communities would die out as the local businesses shut down. I completely disagree with this argument and will try to explain in this essay why so.

The reasons for supermarkets becoming popular are manifold. Firstly, they provide a single platform to customers where they can purchase everything they need ranging from groceries to clothing and more. Consequently, they do not have to make multiple stops at different stores to get the needful, hence , making shopping extraordinarily convenient. Secondly, they offer a number of facilities including car park, toilets, deli counters, resting areas to make shopping a more comfortable and fun experience. Thus, pulling more and more customers and multiplying the business.

As more people opt to shop at supermarkets, local businesses suffer loss and eventually shut down. However, that, in no way, result in local communities' death. Today's customers are resourceful and educated. They have the means of transportation and time to go to supermarkets as shopping has transformed into an entertainment. Convenience stores , on the other hand, still have a chance to survive by relocating to area where there is enough clientage. All in all, local communities can travel to supermarkets just fine and can easily survive in the absence of local convenience stores.

In conclusion, supermarkets have given local businesses a tough time. In my opinion, local stores can relocate to carry on and even if they do not, local communities will survive by shopping at supermarkets because they are capable of doing so.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS General Training

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 303, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...fferent stores to get the needful, hence , making shopping extraordinarily conveni...
^^
Line 7, column 142, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'communities'' or 'community's'?
Suggestion: communities'; community's
...wever, that, in no way, result in local communities death. Todays customers are resourceful...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 346, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...nto an entertainment. Convenience stores , on the other hand, still have a chance ...
^^
Line 9, column 246, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s because they are capable of doing so.
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, firstly, hence, however, if, second, secondly, so, still, thus, as to, in conclusion, in my opinion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 7.85571142285 102% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 24.0651302605 66% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 41.998997996 105% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1540.0 1615.20841683 95% => OK
No of words: 289.0 315.596192385 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32871972318 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.12310562562 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0945241379 2.80592935109 110% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 176.041082164 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.581314878893 0.561755894193 103% => OK
syllable_count: 488.7 506.74238477 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.2975951904 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.7402233786 49.4020404114 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.25 106.682146367 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0625 20.7667163134 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.6875 7.06120827912 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.281851393462 0.244688304435 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0851114444406 0.084324248473 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0541448604902 0.0667982634062 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154723885142 0.151304729494 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0774063431938 0.056905535591 136% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 13.0946893788 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 50.2224549098 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 12.4159519038 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.58950901804 96% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 78.4519038076 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 9.78957915832 128% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.1190380762 91% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.