Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Without a shadow of the doubt, children and how we breed them play a vital role in social development and progress. Children are the backbone of every society and we must notice to how we foster them. Many people contend that paying money for children when they obtain a high grade in their exams is a good idea, while others assert it is not. Both of the opposing ideas appear to be somewhat convincing and stand to point. However, my personal experience and actual observation of life have led me to disagree with paying money to kids. In the ensuing paragrapgs, I delve into many reasons to substantiate my point.
The first and possibly the paramount consequential reason is that paying money to children when they obtain good grades can lead to catastrophic situations. Studying and learning is children's task and they have to do their tasks without money. By paying money to them they used to getting money and If we do not pay money, they can ignore studying. For example, I remember when I was in high school one of my friends had a wealthy family and he always got valuable gifts for obtaining good marks. After a while, her father lost his money on a gamble. Unfortunately, my friend failed all of the exams because he used to getting money for studying instead of studing alone. So, I think paying money to children creates bad habits in children and it is not a good idea.
Another point springing to mind is about prepating for future. Children must learn principals, they must follow rules, they have to earn different skills and abilities. Paying money for all of these is not possible for families. So, instead of peying money for what they do in an appropriate way, we can just encourage them to do more. Although paying money to children is a subject of recent studies. Based on researcher's opinion it is a complex issue. Recently, I read a noteworthy study about paying money to kids that demonstrated kids who did not get money are very responsible kids compared to others. As you can see, besed on what we seen in society and based on investigations paying money is not a good method.
To sum it all up by taking all the details into consideration, paying money to kids is not a good way for their breeding because it makes children lazy to do their tasks. Also, it forbids children to enhance their skills and abilities because paying money is not a practical way for all families. So, I suggest parents can just encourage their children with kind words.
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- TOEFL TPO 28- Integrated Writing Task 42
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- TPO 42 integrated writing 78
- independent tpo 41 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 584, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...gamble. Unfortunately, my friend failed all of the exams because he used to getting money ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 274, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an appropriate way" with adverb for "appropriate"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...nstead of peying money for what they do in an appropriate way, we can just encourage them to do more....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 336, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... we can just encourage them to do more. Although paying money to children is a subject o...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 411, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'researchers'' or 'researcher's'?
Suggestion: researchers'; researcher's
...s a subject of recent studies. Based on researchers opinion it is a complex issue. Recently...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, so, while, for example, i think
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2040.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 440.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.63636363636 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57997565096 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57142193033 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.493181818182 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 621.9 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.8426711252 48.9658058833 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.0 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.3333333333 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.375 5.45110844103 44% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.298411128903 0.236089414692 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0900546228747 0.076458572812 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0593923916634 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.195306225797 0.150856017488 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0646442817807 0.0645574589148 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.63 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.