Some educationalists argue that non-exam, art-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays many educationalists come with their new research on art influence in student academic improvement. Some say the compulsory subjects should not only depend on science and language but also arts might hold in these considerations to improve student academic performance. While it is true, I tend to argue there more likely to consider the reserve.
Obviously, school has been ruled to represent in compulsory subjects; language and science, and it is main subjects which should be taken examination in secondary school. However, there are some additional curriculum which are used to stimulate student activity such art, music, drama and craft.
Generally, language and science have a longer schedule than additional subjects, but most of students are prefer to do subjects that they are good at. Moreover, researchers believe that additional skill could encourage student interesting to improve their academic performance.
It is true that commonly, students are pleasure to do art or drama for a long time in school, because that subject might be their hobby or talent. Doing art or drama will attract their attention because they can play it together with other friends, and they could do experiment on their hobbies. But to do these subjects, school should prepare more time, and it means student will not focus on their main subject.
Accordingly, educationalists think that making additional subject to be compulsory subject is a must. I think it could be possible because improving talent in someone life could bring much exercise in their talent and it is better than only knowing a general knowledge.
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the compulsory subjects should not only depend on science and language but also arts might hold in these considerations
Description: Not only...but also is not used properly.
but most of students are prefer to do subjects
but most of students prefer to do subjects
students are pleasure
students are pleased
Sentence: Nowadays many educationalists come with their new research on art influence in student academic improvement.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to student and academic
Sentence: However, there are some additional curriculum which are used to stimulate student activity such art, music, drama and craft.
Description: The fragment additional curriculum which is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
flaws:
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No. of Words: 258 350
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.054 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Satisfactory Excellent
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