Some parents forbid young children from owning smartphones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why?
Nowadays with all advances in technology is easier to stay well-informed and keep in touch with everyone. The advances of the Internet and especially smartphones allow people to always be online but there are some disadvantages in using these devices. Adults know which risks they are exposed to, however, children, mainly young children, are incapable to measure these risks and how to avoid or being protected. In my view, I believe that parents that do not give smartphones to their young children are correct. I feel this way for the following reasons.
Firstly, using their own smartphones young children are in danger of being in contact with pedophile people. These days, with the increase of use of the Internet, there has been an increase in cases of child abuse and stolen data used by these groups in order to expose and share photos and videos of the victims. It is a general concern, governmental and familiar, to keep children safe from these abusers. It is safer that parents do not give smartphones to their kids instead they should allow them to use parent’s smartphones with a close observation from parents. For example, parents should block sites and chats, and let available just safe games. Moreover, they always should know and observe what they do online and talk about the dangers of the Internet for children.
Secondly, there are other kinds of cell phones that are not connected to the Internet which permit parents to keep in touch with their young children in case of an emergency. The world has changed in innumerable ways with the advent of the Internet, hence, the dangers have increased too, there is a lot of violent content online inappropriate for children. My own experience demonstrates this concept. Last year my nephew, that only is five years old now, caught his mom smartphone in secret and later he was found crying because he had watched a violent cartoon that was not suitable for children. Parents should always block certain contents and sites that are not for children if they use these devices. Although, keeping in touch is important and necessary there is the option of getting simpler cell phones instead of smartphones.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that young children should not have their own smartphones. This is because the risk of being attacked by a pedophile, and because cell phones with no Internet are more suitable for them.
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- TOEFL integrated writing Chevalier de Seingalt 70
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, well, for example, i feel, in conclusion, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2011.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 403.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99007444169 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48049772903 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60987219303 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.48635235732 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 606.6 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.2938696298 48.9658058833 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.842105263 100.406767564 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2105263158 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.57894736842 5.45110844103 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.364692134846 0.236089414692 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.117435024257 0.076458572812 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0676448816475 0.0737576698707 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.234670034177 0.150856017488 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0355118153396 0.0645574589148 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 11.7677419355 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.09 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.