Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their
achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.
In recent years, famous people, such as movie or song stars, are well known for their luxurious lifestyle rather than the work they do. To a certain extent, I agree that this might have a negative impact on teenagers. However, I also think that celebrities leave a positive fingerprint in young people lives.
There are several negative affects that happen when young people follow celebrities and imitate their actions and behaviours blindly. Firstly, at this age, teens tend to copy their role model's lifestyle and actions. So whatever his/her role model is doing, they will do the same regardless if it was a bad or a good thing. For example, young girls imitate famous singers and wear inappropriate clothes that expose private parts of their bodies, and this is not acceptable at a young age. Secondly, young people may feel depressed and stressed by watching the luxarious life of celebrities, and figure out that they will not be able to afford buying the same clothes or accessories they have. This will increase their stress levels and give them a feeling of depression.
On the other hand, many celebrities are considered to be a good role model for youth. Famous people help humanitarian organizations in raising funds. For example, Anglina Jouly, helps many UN organizations and encourage young people to donate. This behaviour will affect young people in a positive way and plant in them the seed of helping other people in need. Another point, is that some famous people deliver messages through their work that raise awareness on certain problems in our community. Artists, for example, write lyrics that fight racism, inequality, and bullying. These songs reach millions of people, especially teens and will effect them in a positive way.
In conclusion, despite the fact that celebrities may have a negative effect on teens mental health and behaviors. I believe that the benefits that these celebrities do on delivering and sharing sensitive messages with teens is invaluable.
- The chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. 78
- In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. 73
- Some people say that the Internet is responsible for destroying the social skills of teenagers and young adults 84
- The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. 61
- The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport. 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 643, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to buy'.
Suggestion: to buy
...ut that they will not be able to afford buying the same clothes or accessories they ha...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 285, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a positive way" with adverb for "positive"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...This behaviour will affect young people in a positive way and plant in them the seed of helping o...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 644, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...ns of people, especially teens and will effect them in a positive way. In conclusio...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 656, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a positive way" with adverb for "positive"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
..., especially teens and will effect them in a positive way. In conclusion, despite the fact tha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, well, for example, in conclusion, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 10.4138276553 163% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 24.0651302605 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 31.0 41.998997996 74% => OK
Nominalization: 0.0 8.3376753507 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1679.0 1615.20841683 104% => OK
No of words: 327.0 315.596192385 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13455657492 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25242769721 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63779151116 2.80592935109 94% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 176.041082164 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.562691131498 0.561755894193 100% => OK
syllable_count: 515.7 506.74238477 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 16.0721442886 112% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.2975951904 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.2977161533 49.4020404114 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.2777777778 106.682146367 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1666666667 20.7667163134 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.77777777778 7.06120827912 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.9879759519 226% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.256672795132 0.244688304435 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0789239388639 0.084324248473 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0523539956614 0.0667982634062 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153022970942 0.151304729494 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0636181229036 0.056905535591 112% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 13.0946893788 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 50.2224549098 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.3001002004 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.4159519038 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.58950901804 98% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 78.4519038076 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.1190380762 91% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.