The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.
"Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire, because it has spectacular natural beauty and a consistent climate. Another advantage is that housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Moreover, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services. And best of all, retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The prompt apparently strives to persuade readers of this passage that Clearview is a perfect place for people who are seeking for an appropriate place to spend the rest of their lives. The author of the passage above mentions four different appealing features of the city, each of which has fundamental flaws and given assumptions. In this article I will discuss some of them and clear new evidences needed to make argument more cogent.
The author primarily states that the city of Clearview has glamorous natural beauty and steady climate pattern, which are very appealing for elderly people. This statement would seem very alluring to the reader, however I found it very obscure for two reasons. First of all, the expression of beauty in the prompt does not create clear image in mind. It is a crucial point because the idea of beauty is subjective to the individuals; some people might find coastline beautiful and consider living there, while others would want spending their time in countryside. The author should provide more detailed information in order to eradicate obscurity about the notion of beauty. And the second reason, consistency of climate shares the same spirit of vagueness because the information about the type of climate is missing. For example, exaggeratively speaking, arctic has a very steady climate pattern, it is all year long winter time. Nevertheless, I would not imagine anyone has a penchant to live in such a climate. It is also valid for extremely humid and hot climate types, their steadiness do not make them mild and liveable places. I would want to see a further piece of information to decide if I can live in that climate. These two examples demonstrates that obscurity of the sentence drastically undermines the strength of the argument.
In addition, the passage asserts that moving to the city of Clearview is very reasonable because the housing prices decresead in the previous year. Yet again, despite the word choice of ‘decrease' appeals the reader, in essence, without further investigation, this does not mean persuade the prospective people who would consider moving to the city. This argument is weak because, despite there might be some decrease in last year, it does not clarify the fact that from which point it had decreased. The fact of 'decrease' does not necessarily mean the housing prices are inexpensive. Another concern that I find deficient in the argument is that how long this putative ‘lower' price range would remain the same. It is specifically important because housing prices include rentals as well and some of the people will have to rent houses rather than buying them. Besides as newcomers buy houses the condition of market would change. Which is why the lack of knowledge on this issue put the argument in a untrustable place.
Additionally, according to the passage, the mayor of the city of Clearview promises to proceed new projects such as streets, schools and public services in the ensuing years. Having said that, this claim would not entice readers because it is not conclusive. Unfortunately, promises are abundant in politicians mouth, but most of the time we do not see these promises are fulfilled. In order these promises to convince the reader, the passage need to provide new evidences and statistics about the city and the mayor herself. For instance, the answers to the questions of how credible is she, and how successful is she in her recent projects may serve beneficial details to the persuasiveness of the passage. Without them, a reader would not find the argument solid.
Although this paper planned to address all of the hidden assumptions and flaws of the passage, due to scarcity of time, it did not become possible. However, I believe that, the highlights I made are sufficient to demonstrate that the prompt is not efficacious enough to persuade the reader. Therefore, some further details and piece of evidences can help to procure further persuasiveness.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-11-02 | dvtien95 | 74 | view |
| 2019-08-27 | saloni.p | 66 | view |
| 2019-08-14 | Jethro Jiang | 35 | view |
| 2019-07-20 | Olga Kyriazi | 83 | view |
| 2019-06-24 | mreyk | 55 | view |
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- no. need to argue:
'And best of all, retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average.'
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 31 15
No. of Words: 656 350
No. of Characters: 3235 1500
No. of Different Words: 298 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.061 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.931 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.638 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 244 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 185 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 112 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.161 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.154 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.548 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.26 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.382 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 237, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'obscures'?
Suggestion: obscures
... to the reader, however I found it very obscure for two reasons. First of all, the expr...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 355, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... who would consider moving to the city. This argument is weak because, despite t...
^^
Line 4, column 803, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...sing prices include rentals as well and some of the people will have to rent houses rather ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1011, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ledge on this issue put the argument in a untrustable place. Additionally, ac...
^
Line 8, column 40, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... Although this paper planned to address all of the hidden assumptions and flaws of the pas...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, besides, but, first, however, if, may, nevertheless, second, so, therefore, well, while, for example, for instance, in addition, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 28.8173652695 180% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 83.0 55.5748502994 149% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3326.0 2260.96107784 147% => OK
No of words: 656.0 441.139720559 149% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07012195122 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.06087906887 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75427578469 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 315.0 204.123752495 154% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.480182926829 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 1046.7 705.55239521 148% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 4.96107784431 302% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.8072158239 57.8364921388 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.290322581 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1612903226 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.41935483871 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.175262576145 0.218282227539 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0401796183538 0.0743258471296 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0369377677846 0.0701772020484 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0847459584416 0.128457276422 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0507290985145 0.0628817314937 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 157.0 98.500998004 159% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.