25. The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe. "A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment." Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this argument, the author argues that a jazz music club in Monroe would be a profitable enterprise. Although the argument may seem convincing at first, the lack of evidences lead me to question the validity of the argument.
First of all, the author needs to provide more specific evidence that the C-Note would have the local market all to itself since the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away. However, even though the closest club is far located, the C-Note may not take the entire share of market. For example, people in Monroe may prefer to use internet market which is convenient for its accessibility and which can provide benefits with reasonable price and coupons. Besides, most customers in Monroe just may not want to change their inured market to new one. Therefore, the C-Note may not be successful.
Second, more concrete evidence the author needs to provide is that jazz is extremely popular in Monroe. To support his claim, the author takes the number of attendance for jazz festival last summer, habitation of some jazz musicians, and the radio program highest-rated. However, those facts may seem unsound to be supportive. It is quite possible that the number of attendances for last summer jazz festival is aberration. Many people might join the festival to see just one famous singer or to be provided high promotion from the owner albeit they had no interest in jazz itself. In addition, it cannot be found appropriate co-relations between the habitation of jazz musicians and the popularity of jazz. The musicians may just live in Monroe because of its good weather and the infrastructure. Moreover, the main reason for the popularity of the radio program may be not because of citizen's interest in jazz but because of the intriguing host and airing time. Thus, without more specific evidence, the author's claim stands weak.
Lastly, the author needs to provide more concrete evidence the nationwide study which indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. However, the result of nationwide study cannot be generalized to that of Monroe. If the research company is based on another part of nation, it is quite possible that the expenditure of people in Monroe may not properly included. In addition, even though the study could be reliable and representative to Monroe as well, $1,000 per year expense may not indicate that the fans will spend all money for a jazz club. It is likely that their main expenditure for jazz would be instruments, for instance, a guitar or a drum. In such cases, the nationwide study may not be a sound basis for the author's claim.
In conclusion, the argument is unsound on many grounds. In order to bolster the argument, the author needs to provide more specific evidence on the nationwide study aforementioned.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-11-28 | ken10091995 | 77 | view |
| 2019-06-28 | KD Kim | 79 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 473 350
No. of Characters: 2285 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.664 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.831 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.587 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.708 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.3 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.792 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.507 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In this argument, the author argues that...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uestion the validity of the argument. First of all, the author needs to provid...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ore, the C-Note may not be successful. Second, more concrete evidence the autho...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...idence, the authors claim stands weak. Lastly, the author needs to provide more...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 143, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...hat the typical jazz fan spends close to ,000 per year on jazz entertainment. Howe...
^^
Line 4, column 500, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...le and representative to Monroe as well, ,000 per year expense may not indicate th...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e a sound basis for the authors claim. In conclusion, the argument is unsound o...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 61, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...he argument is unsound on many grounds. In order to bolster the argument, the auth...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, however, if, lastly, may, moreover, second, so, therefore, thus, well, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2341.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 473.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94926004228 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66353547975 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69584129862 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469344608879 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 737.1 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.1791479055 57.8364921388 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.5416666667 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7083333333 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.625 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.233667815249 0.218282227539 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0745225768794 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0708982506113 0.0701772020484 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130262614838 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0681405885468 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.43 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.