The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
A letter was written from a vice president concerning the sale of an alpaca overcoat. After 5 years not having the proper raw material to manufacture the coat, they found a new supplier. The author proposes to resume production of this said coat and says that profits would increase since prices are rising and that Sartorian has not offered the coat for 5 years. Also, the author says that customers will be more willing to pay more for clothing.
Firstly, the author assumes that selling the coat is profitable. It is important to determine what exactly about this coat will make production costs and selling worth it. The author mentions that its competitor and Sartorian has not sold the coat in over five years and thus it will mean a higher consumer base. It is important to determine if there is even a high demand for these coats since the material used to make these coats are high quality and therefore more durable than clothes made from other materials. This means that much of the customer base has already been satisfied and fulfilled with their demand for this coat, and if the remaining consumers do not have their demand fulfilled, it is imprtant to see how big this base is and if the company can profit off of it. Also, it is possible that the competitors have sold more of another coat that sells better than alpacas. This indicates that there is a low demand for alpaca coats. This also explains why the high quality material has not been sold in over 5 years, but evidence is needed to see why a new manufacturer has decided it would be profitable again to use this material. It could be that it is intended for material more profitable than clothing such as sofas. The author’s claim would be weaker since it would not be profitable to make coats with this material.
In addition, the author assumes that when the prices of clothing in general rise, people will be willing to spend more money to buy clothes. The opposite is likely to be true. The basic economic principal of supply and demand state otherwise. Specifically, when the price of one good rises, the demand – number of people willing to buy the good – decreases. There must be some evidence to back up this claim with some exceptions to this general rule. An exception would be food. When the price of grains rise, then people spend more for the same amount of grain they buy. However, since food is a need and clothing made of high quality material is not (maybe even superfluous), there is a substantial amount of evidence to question the feasibility of this plan.
Finally, the author assumes that the company will become more profitable. It is one thing to have a profitable product as the coat itself discussed above, but looking at the bigger picture, specifically the company the author assumes that the implementation process will make more profit in the end. By this I mean that the coats will not replace the shelves and displays of another bestselling or even moderate selling product. If a profitable product is displaced by a less profitable product, then the author will be incorrect in his last sentence in saying that overall company profits will increase if there is not enough evidence comparing the sales of a potentially unprofitable product and a profitable one. Furthermore, it is important to determine if additional employees need to be hired and paid more even if a more profitable product is not displaced. In eithercase, the company may not earn more money in the end.
In conclusion, the author makes a lot of assumptions in his or her reccomendation which requires evidence to back up may statements, even ones which seem unlikely.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
The arguments are somehow duplicated.
also need to argue:
Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 634 350
No. of Characters: 2952 1500
No. of Different Words: 257 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.018 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.656 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.518 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.862 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.322 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.621 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.455 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.074 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, look, may, so, then, therefore, thus, i mean, in addition, in conclusion, in general, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 28.8173652695 184% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3030.0 2260.96107784 134% => OK
No of words: 636.0 441.139720559 144% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.7641509434 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.02185627292 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60522966913 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 265.0 204.123752495 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.416666666667 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 963.0 705.55239521 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.6020839516 57.8364921388 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.482758621 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9310344828 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.34482758621 5.70786347227 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0684474379127 0.218282227539 31% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0227503126914 0.0743258471296 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0259004979461 0.0701772020484 37% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0423605925654 0.128457276422 33% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0295940464253 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.