Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to reach successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (rewrite)
High education prospects a successful career. Obviously, as the immense knowledge in high education guarantees people to acquire better job, some paradoxical groups assume that get work directly after graduated is beneficial, too. I believe that both assumptions are followed by advantages.
Finding job after school not surprisingly does by students who dream financial independent. Coming mature, rely on parents financial constraint become embarrassing for some student, thus this tendency encourages them to earn money by their own. For instance, some graduate students wish to buy a set of IPad with their own earning instead of asking their parent’s money. On the other hand, several students think successful career may relate to how early the career is built. For this purpose, it is likely that a considerable number for enrolling university are reduced.
In any case, some people think study in the university is a pathway to get proficient career. This might encourage a schoolchildren devote herself to enroll in the psychological faculty in order to fulfill her ambition become a psychologist. However, studying in university brings sense of comfort for student who has a curiosity in formal learning process. Thus, join discussion, do research or analyze some literature in college become enjoyable activities that arise student’s ambition to deal with learning process.
The aforementioned evidence examines that either continuing study in the university or finding job has benefit for people who believe it for. It does not matter what the way of graduated student choosing, it seems to me that successful career is prevailed by a responsible decision.
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get work directly after graduated is beneficial
getting work directly after graduation is beneficial
Finding job after school not surprisingly does by students who dream financial independent.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
rely on parents financial constraint become embarrassing for some student,
relying on parents financial constraint becomes embarrassing for some students,
in order to fulfill her ambition become a psychologist.
in order to fulfill her ambition to become a psychologist.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 259 350
No. of Characters: 1380 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.012 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.328 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.926 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.803 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.544 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5