Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league softball and soccer, over 80,000 of these young players suffered injuries. When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league softball players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure from coaches and parents to win games. Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Since the disadvantages apparently outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine.
The letter concludes that the society of Parkvilla should discontinue organizing athletic competition for children under the age of nine.In order to support the claim he has mentioned how many children below the age of nine participated in youth-league softball and soccer, over 80 ,000 of these young players suffered injuries.He has added that how a recent study has revealed that youth-league softball players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure from coaches and parents to win games.He has also mentioned the opinion of education experts who say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities.The claim made by author is not completely satisfying as it lacks certain assumptions that can make his claim weak.
Firstly,he has mentioned how many children below the age of nine participated in youth-league softball and soccer, over 80 ,000 of these young players suffered injuries.But their is a possibility that the percentage of children got injured is very less as author has not mentioned the number of children participated.Their may be a case that the not many children get injured in general but is in just an coincidence that many students got injured last year.Moreover, their may be many other reasons which helped the cause of more students getting injured like bad facilities, lack of preventive measures, etc and this situation can be overcome by taking proper measures.
Secondly,the author emphasized how a recent study has revealed that youth-league softball players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure from coaches and parents to win games.Their is no mentioned about the number of children involved in the study, their may be a chance that the survey covers only a limited number of children who suffered psychological pressure than the other children.By assuming that a considerable number of students were involved, the claim still don't justify why the society of Parkvilla should discontinue organizing athletic competition for children under the age of nine because coaches and parents pressurize them to win, better those parents and coaches should be given proper education to handle these children in better ways.
Thirdly,he has also mentioned the opinion of education experts who say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities.The solution provided will not help the situation because if children are not given time to being fit and healthy, their is a chance that they may not concentrate and perform actively in other activities.Their is no mention how education will provide a better career to the children to these children than playing these sports mentioned.Their may be a chance that the students involved in the sports are better in the sports than in education and stands a better chance to make a career in sports than education.
As the claim don't justify the above mentioned assumptions,The author should come of with better explanation that why the society of Parkvilla should discontinue organizing athletic competition for children under the age of nine.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-08-23 | Sivajeet Chand | 77 | view |
| 2018-06-17 | dshah6611 | 37 | view |
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- Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct. 66
- During the past year,Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many on-the-job accidents 77
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Always put a space after punctuation marks. Essay e-grader is sensitive.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 520 350
No. of Characters: 2627 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.775 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.052 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.696 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 200 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 154 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 112 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 57.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 22.3 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.485 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.764 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.169 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 138, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...tion for children under the age of nine.In order to support the claim he has menti...
^^
Line 1, column 282, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...outh-league softball and soccer, over 80 ,000 of these young players suffered inju...
^^
Line 1, column 329, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: He
...f these young players suffered injuries.He has added that how a recent study has r...
^^
Line 1, column 513, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: He
...e from coaches and parents to win games.He has also mentioned the opinion of educa...
^^
Line 1, column 679, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...t could be used for academic activities.The claim made by author is not completely ...
^^^
Line 3, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , he
...that can make his claim weak. Firstly,he has mentioned how many children below t...
^^^
Line 3, column 123, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...outh-league softball and soccer, over 80 ,000 of these young players suffered inju...
^^
Line 3, column 170, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
...f these young players suffered injuries.But their is a possibility that the percent...
^^^
Line 3, column 174, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...ese young players suffered injuries.But their is a possibility that the percentage of...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 254, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[1]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...ge of children got injured is very less as author has not mentioned the number of ...
^^
Line 3, column 318, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Their
...ned the number of children participated.Their may be a case that the not many childr...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 337, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hildren participated.Their may be a case that the not many children get injured i...
^^
Line 3, column 404, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...n get injured in general but is in just an coincidence that many students got inju...
^^
Line 3, column 460, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Moreover
...hat many students got injured last year.Moreover, their may be many other reasons which ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...e by taking proper measures. Secondly,the author emphasized how a recent study ha...
^^^^
Line 5, column 198, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Their
...e from coaches and parents to win games.Their is no mentioned about the number of chi...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 198, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: There
...e from coaches and parents to win games.Their is no mentioned about the number of chi...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 411, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: By
...ogical pressure than the other children.By assuming that a considerable number of ...
^^
Line 5, column 493, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...students were involved, the claim still dont justify why the society of Parkvilla sh...
^^^^
Line 7, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , he
...hese children in better ways. Thirdly,he has also mentioned the opinion of educa...
^^^
Line 7, column 175, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...t could be used for academic activities.The solution provided will not help the sit...
^^^
Line 7, column 290, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...ot given time to being fit and healthy, their is a chance that they may not concentra...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 379, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Their
...nd perform actively in other activities.Their is no mention how education will provid...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 379, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: There
...nd perform actively in other activities.Their is no mention how education will provid...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 512, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Their
...ren than playing these sports mentioned.Their may be a chance that the students invol...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 14, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... sports than education. As the claim dont justify the above mentioned assumptions...
^^^^
Line 9, column 58, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , The
... justify the above mentioned assumptions,The author should come of with better expla...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, third, thirdly, in general
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2675.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 502.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32868525896 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7334296765 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97291052888 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.384462151394 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 828.9 705.55239521 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 5.0 19.7664670659 25% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 100.0 22.8473053892 438% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 207.348595365 57.8364921388 359% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 535.0 119.503703932 448% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 100.4 23.324526521 430% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 20.2 5.70786347227 354% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 27.0 5.25449101796 514% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.294309555299 0.218282227539 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.176872445832 0.0743258471296 238% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.115433051792 0.0701772020484 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.176872445832 0.128457276422 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.115433051792 0.0628817314937 184% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 53.9 14.3799401198 375% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -38.48 48.3550499002 -80% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 17.1 7.1628742515 239% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 43.5 12.197005988 357% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 14.82 12.5979740519 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 11.18 8.32208582834 134% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 56.0 12.3882235529 452% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 42.0 11.1389221557 377% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 56.0 11.9071856287 470% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.