The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily Newspaper.
"Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league softball and soccer, over 80,000 of these young players suffered injuries. When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league softball players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure from coaches and parents to win games. Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Since the disadvantages apparently outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine."
The argument appeared in a letter to the editor of the Pinkville Daily newspaper suggests that they should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine as more players under nine got injured during last year. However, author fails to answer which is necessary to understand whether a decision is acceptable or not.
Throughout the country, children below the age of nine participated in youth league sports last year. over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries. This argument raises many questions. How many students participated in youth league? Sometimes we got injured while playing. Over 40,000 young players suffered injuries that mean maybe a ground was not proper to play. Author should answer about condition of a ground. If ground is not proper and flat and there are more stones and other objects which may be the reason for injuries. So, author should answer about the condition of grounds.
Moreover in a recent study, soccer players in major cities also reported psychological pressure exerted by coaches and parents to win games. Author should answer about whether these studies is authenticate or not. And coaches and parents may encourage their children to play well that do not mean they pressurized their children. Under nine years old players may need motivation to win. Thus, author should provide accurate details on whether coaches and parents encourage or pressurized.
In addition, education experts said that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. All students should learn in every field. Only academics may not help for their better future and all students should participate in sports. Author should answer on how nine years old children will need more time in academics. Participation in youth league also gives them many benefits at early age. If they have league then sometime they need more practice to perform well. In other time, they study their academics. So, author fails to provide strong evidence on how long sessions took away academics time.
To sum up, author finds more disadvantage than advantages but do not have any strong evidence to prove it. Author should provide details on condition of grounds and how long sessions will affect their academics.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not exactly. need to compare the total number of children before and after the the age of nine participated in youth-league softball and soccer. and the rate of 80,000 of these young players suffered injuries.
argument 2 -- not OK. better way: a recent study only works for some major cities. it may be different to Parkville.
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 368 350
No. of Characters: 1881 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.38 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.111 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.461 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.72 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.983 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.56 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.481 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 103, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Over
...pated in youth league sports last year. over 40,000 of these young players suffered ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...swer about the condition of grounds. Moreover in a recent study, soccer players in ma...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 194, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'authenticated'.
Suggestion: authenticated
...d answer about whether these studies is authenticate or not. And coaches and parents may enc...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 442, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... gives them many benefits at early age. If they have league then sometime they nee...
^^
Line 7, column 491, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'practice performing'.
Suggestion: practice performing
...ave league then sometime they need more practice to perform well. In other time, they study their a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, thus, well, while, in addition, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 19.6327345309 41% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1934.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 368.0 441.139720559 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.25543478261 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49907827999 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.508152173913 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 582.3 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 22.8473053892 61% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.4902141453 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 74.3846153846 119.503703932 62% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.1538461538 23.324526521 61% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.46153846154 5.70786347227 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.245824433364 0.218282227539 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0678003365069 0.0743258471296 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0887875098463 0.0701772020484 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13794189974 0.128457276422 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0813347620857 0.0628817314937 129% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 48.3550499002 118% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 12.197005988 72% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.64 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.51 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 12.3882235529 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.6 11.1389221557 68% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.