A person do you know is planning to move to your hometown or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike in your town or city? Why? Use your specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

Essay topics:

A person do you know is planning to move to your hometown or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike in your town or city? Why? Use your specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

My city is a place more enjoyable and comfortable for me to live. There are many things that will make people like to stay there. There is no reason for people to dislike staying in my city. In this essay, I will explain about my statement.

Firstly, some people like to choose city which is more crowded and has many unique buildings. Such as, Balla lompoa which is one icon in my hometown is very famous not only in Makassar, South Sulawesi but also in the world. Many tourists always visit that place. Even though, they just take a picture or ask something about that building. Balla lompoa has many histories. So it is not wonder if this building can make visitors more interesting.

Secondly, societies in my city are very friendly. They always help their neighbor who have problem, also regional heads. In my city, every week, all societies are collected in one place which makes area to meet between some people with other people. So, they will know their neighbor.

Lastly, my town is very quiet. It is because regional heads make schedule to patrol around the city every day. In 2003, my city gets awards as the city got more safety from government. I think, that is a real evidence for people to stay in my hometown. According to survey, people who want to move to a new place think about 50% safety in there.

In conclusion, my hometown has many advantages for societies around there. My city which has sites history is very famous in the world. People who stay in my city will feel enjoyable and have safety from regional heads.

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2014-04-11 BOMAT_Ernhy 50 view
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Comments

There are many things that make people will like to stay there.
There are many things that will make people like to stay there.

There is no reason for people dislike to stay in my city.
There is no reason for people to dislike staying in my city.

some people like to choose city which is more crowded has many unique building
some people like to choose city which is more crowded and has many unique buildings

my city get awards as the city more safety from government
my city gets awards as the city got more safety from government

People who stay in my city will feel enjoyable have safety from regional heads.
People who stay in my city will feel enjoyable and have safety from regional heads.

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 136 200
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 273 350
No. of Characters: 1209 1500
No. of Different Words: 136 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.065 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.429 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.144 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 72 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 43 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 15 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.409 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.914 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.409 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5