The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in the world and in different continents.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Essay topics:

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in the world and in different continents.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The following depicted bar chart provides a breakdown in percentages of the inhabitants per continents as well as in the globe in three different periods.

Overall, it is noticeable that the Western nation is more populated than Eastern countries. It can be seen from the diagram that the number of inhabitants increased throughout the years and it is expected to maintain its steady growth in the near future.

According to the statistics, the increase of the population in the entire world increased steadily, with an average of a fifth growth. However, the vast majority of this growing population was located in America over the last decade.

It is worth mentioning that North America was the principal hosting of the population, with 64% in 1950 and 79% in 2007, compared to the 42% and 76% population in South America in the respective years. Moreover, in 2030 these figures are predicted to increase to 84% in Latin American and the Caribbeans and to 87% in North America.

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2017-10-15 Dilnavoz 91 view
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flaws:
This sentence is not developed well:
'The following depicted bar chart provides a breakdown in percentages of the inhabitants per continents as well as in the globe in three different periods.'

Instead, the topic gives clear information:
'The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in the world and in different continents.'

Don't put something new:
it is noticeable that the Western nation is more populated than Eastern countries

How did you get this?
'the vast majority of this growing population was located in America over the last decade.'

Read sample ones:
http://testbig.com/ielts-essays/bar-chart-below-gives-information-about…

http://testbig.com/ielts-essays/bar-chart-below-gives-information-about…

http://testbig.com/ielts-essays/bar-chart-below-gives-information-about…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 165 200
No. of Characters: 792 1000
No. of Different Words: 99 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.584 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.8 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.768 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 58 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 50 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.946 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.421 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.762 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4

Hi,

thanks for the quick response.

Regarding the questions above, I got the "America" word by treating Latin American and North American data as a whole... I was just trying to look for patterns while at the same time doing comparisons. Is not that what the task is all about? Would it be a mistake to do that?

Also, I said "Western countries" since Europe and America appear in the bar chart and it was meant to be just a synonym as a whole. The same for "Eastern countries". I thought another important key point in IELTS is to try and use synonyms rather than just using the same words as in the graph.

I hope you can provide me some feedback about these mistakes in order to clear my mind.

Thanks

For task I, you just put whatever it is from the graphs, charts, or tables. Don't suppose people or examiners can understand those 'synonyms'.

You even don't need to calculate like 'a fifth growth'. You may use 'double, triple.' however.

IELTS is an exam to test the language.

Those sample ones will help.

Alright, I'll keep that in mind and leave synonyms for task 2. I hope I can get a better score by being more "simple".

Thanks once againi for the advice.