Some people say that self employment is better than a job in company or an institution. Discuss , what is your opinion ? Give reasons to support your answer .
In today's world , many young people dream of becoming entrepreneurs. Self employment that is running your own business is an interesting and challenging task . Some people believe that self employment is better than working in a company. I feel that running your own business demands special skills, experience , patience and determination . A person should gain these skills before starting his own business.
Self employment offers many benefits .The main advantages is that one can choose the type of work according to one's own interests. A self employed person can manage his working hours on his own and can work at his own pace. Moreover , successful entrepreneurs earn huge salaries . But with all these advantages ,self employment requires huge investments , patience and determination . An individual should have good decision making and risk taking abilities to run a business successfully .
On the other hand , working in a company offers regular monthly paychecks, various bonuses and incentives . An individual need not worry about taking correct decisions. A salaried job offers sense of security and working for defined number of hours . Working in a company offers excellent opportunity to gain expertise, making good relationships and networks with other employees and saving money for future ventures.
Thus to conclude I believe that to master in a field and experience freedom , self employment is better than working in a company . But an individual should understand the essential requirements for running his own business and should be ready to face the challenges of self employment . Therefore , before starting own business , one should spend some years in a job to gain experience , gather finances and then a person is ready to pursue his own dreams.
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Please suggest how can I
Please suggest how can I improve on my writing. Do I need to include more ideas for IELTS essay
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Yes, you need to put more content at the essay body.
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flaws:
No. of Different Words: 144 200 //more vocabulary words wanted
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.294 21.0 //need more complex or compound sentences
Sentence Length SD: 6.085 7.5 //need more sentence varieties
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 277 350
No. of Characters: 1453 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.08 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.245 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.845 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.294 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.085 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.412 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.35 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5