A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author states that the increasing use of salicylates by companies can effectively reduce the headaches in Mentia. However, there are several evidence that the author need to provide in order to make the conclusion.
First of all, the author need to provide the method of the study. Is it a controlled study? Does the patients receive a constant amount of salicylates every year without any use of aspririn to mitigate headaches. If other drugs are used by headache patients then we cannot conclude that salicylates are directly effective to headaches. Also, is the group within the study with a similar age? Teenagers and children tend to have an ability of curing faster that the elderly. Moreover, does the people in the study have any headaches before? People who had headaches before may have a better experience of method to cure faster, or even find the right doctor. Therefore, although people consumed more salicylates, without knowing whether the study is a authentic and controlled one. We cannot conclude that the reduce of headaches are related to salicylates.
Secondly, information of the habits of Mentia residents need to be provided. During the twenty years, are residents in Mentia having better health knowledge? More articles about how to prevent illness and correct diet might have increased. Making residents apply a healthy lifestyle during the two decades. The government of Mentia may also established significant amount of sport facilities encourages residents the exercise daily. Thus, informtion about the health habits of Mentia need to be provided.
Thirdly, foods containing salicylates naturally is different than adding artificially in food products. We should regard them having the same effects in the human body. As more salicylates are adding in food products. Is there a certain limit of salicylates that a human are able to consume. If the amount of salicylates crosses a certain level. Will it cause headache or other diseases? Before claiming that headaches will decrease due the the increase use of salicylates. Evidence need to be provide by the author that it will not cause other health issues if we consume more salicylates.
The author needs to provide the evidence mentioned above to claim his conclusion.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 363 350
No. of Characters: 1853 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.365 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.105 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.683 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.444 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.003 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.481 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.277 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.479 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 138, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[8]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun evidence seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'some evidence'.
Suggestion: some evidence
...headaches in Mentia. However, there are several evidence that the author need to provide in orde...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 750, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...s, without knowing whether the study is a authentic and controlled one. We cannot...
^
Line 5, column 806, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...controlled one. We cannot conclude that the reduce of headaches are related to salicylates...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 257, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t might have increased. Making residents apply a healthy lifestyle during the two...
^^
Line 13, column 62, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...ning salicylates naturally is different than adding artificially in food products. W...
^^^^
Line 13, column 170, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ing the same effects in the human body. As more salicylates are adding in food pro...
^^
Line 13, column 293, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...lates that a human are able to consume. If the amount of salicylates crosses a cer...
^^
Line 13, column 389, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Before” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ll it cause headache or other diseases? Before claiming that headaches will decrease d...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 438, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...aiming that headaches will decrease due the the increase use of salicylates. Evidence n...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 438, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...aiming that headaches will decrease due the the increase use of salicylates. Evidence n...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, thus, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1915.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 363.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27548209366 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3649236973 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77736232275 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.498622589532 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 628.2 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 22.8473053892 57% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.1775647812 57.8364921388 47% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 70.9259259259 119.503703932 59% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 13.4444444444 23.324526521 58% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 4.22222222222 5.70786347227 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 16.0 4.67664670659 342% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.237776612986 0.218282227539 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0625745161625 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0477506446132 0.0701772020484 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110572184489 0.128457276422 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0610190613442 0.0628817314937 97% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 14.3799401198 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.82 48.3550499002 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.75 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.2 11.1389221557 65% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.