The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
Argument Topic :“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
The owner of Movie Galore is suggesting to apply the same operative changes in all the stores of his video rental chain based on the effects that these same changes had on in his downtown Marston shops. However, despite closing the store at an earlier hour and removing old movies helped reducing expenses in that particular store, I believe the owner ought to consider more information before applying such a drastic move.
First of all, he should consider each single shop singularly and evaluate the pick hours in which customers usually go renting movies. Are all the shops the same, on this regard? In other words, is the zenith of rentals at the same hour in all the stores? If this is verified, it could actually make sense to apply the same change for all the stores of the chain. However, even if these answers would provide an affirmative response, it should be also considered what hours are the most crowded in these shops. If, for instance, people are used to rent movies and documentaries after six in the afternoon, just after getting off work or, even more likely, just before laying on the couch to watch television at night, it would be particularly silly closing the shop earlier. In this eventuality, it would be probably better opening later in the morning, which would reduce the same amount of expenses, still allowing the most customers to visit the store at their preferred hour.
Secondly, the owner is proposing to also copying the Marston branch in removing all the movies older than five years. Although this move seemed to actually work in Marston, this does not allow us to say it will be as effective in the other stores. The owner, ought to ascertain whether the oldest movies are not often rented in all of the stores or if the Marston case represent only a particular situation. Is downtown Marston a young neighbor? A positive answer to this question, might be the reason why the inhabitants of the area tend to rent only more recent movies. Are all the stores located in mostly young environments or some of them are also in more grown-ups populated area? If, for instance, one of the stores is in an area mostly inhabited by elder people would not be a wise choice to remove older movies, since they will probably be more likely to rent them rather than more modern titles.
In conclusion, there are many other questions that need to be answered before deciding whether applying the effective Marston shop changes to the whole chain is actually a good idea. By not considering these supplemental data the owner could make a drastic choice which would not eventually have the expected return.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 457 350
No. of Characters: 2127 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.624 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.654 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.354 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.017 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.503 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 289, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to reduce' or 'reduce'.
Suggestion: to reduce; reduce
...ier hour and removing old movies helped reducing expenses in that particular store, I be...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 329, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...e oldest movies are not often rented in all of the stores or if the Marston case represent...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, still, for instance, in conclusion, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2182.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 457.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77461706783 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62358717085 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42708155565 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496717724289 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 693.9 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.6810710939 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.222222222 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.3888888889 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.77777777778 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.13387691584 0.218282227539 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0463902378711 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.051699786041 0.0701772020484 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0965987863076 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0761703925291 0.0628817314937 121% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.