The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.
"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town, Adams Realty and Fitch Realty, Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams."
While the superiority of Adams Reality seems probable based on their higher revenue and large workforce, the present argument suffers from unwarranted assumption, fallacious posits that did not make up a cogent case. Primarily, the premises of author's argument is based on a vague notion of superiority between two real estate firms.
There can be several different qualitative and quantitative definitions like the total revenue earned, number of customers served, area of operation etc upon which 2 real-estate firms can be compared for superiority. Author didn't seem to specify the exact criterion based on which superiority of Adams reality firm is concluded.
Moreover, Citing the last year revenue of both the firms, author concluded that since Adams Reality has a higher revenue it is more successful. However, there can be several hidden factors which can account for higher revenue of Adams reality firm. One of such factor is the prominent area of operation. If Adams operates in a Porsche area, where property rates are significantly higher then it can generate a higher revenue even if the number of houses sold by Adams is lesser then the ones by Fitch. Additional, revenue is not equivalent to profit. Even if the revenue is high, profits made by Adams can be significantly low and thus in that scenario Fitch would be more financially productive.
Additionally, having a lower workforce doesn't necessary implies that Fitch is unsuccessful. In fact, by having a lower workforce, Fitch needs to pay their employees less and thus their profits are higher. Due to all the above reasons, present argument is lacking and is unconvincing.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 268 350
No. of Characters: 1351 1500
No. of Different Words: 148 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.046 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.041 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.75 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.696 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 14, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'several'.
Suggestion: several
...wo real estate firms. There can be several different qualitative and quantitative definition...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 225, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...can be compared for superiority. Author didnt seem to specify the exact criterion bas...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 381, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'higher than'?
Suggestion: higher than
... where property rates are significantly higher then it can generate a higher revenue even i...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 388, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...property rates are significantly higher then it can generate a higher revenue even i...
^^^^
Line 9, column 472, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'lesser than'?
Suggestion: lesser than
...f the number of houses sold by Adams is lesser then the ones by Fitch. Additional, revenue ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 40, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... Additionally, having a lower workforce doesnt necessary implies that Fitch is unsucce...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, moreover, so, then, thus, while, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 9.0 28.8173652695 31% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 55.5748502994 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1396.0 2260.96107784 62% => OK
No of words: 266.0 441.139720559 60% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.24812030075 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03850299372 4.56307096286 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84653749955 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 204.123752495 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.567669172932 0.468620217663 121% => OK
syllable_count: 449.1 705.55239521 64% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.8439559991 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.384615385 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4615384615 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.07692307692 5.70786347227 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.187492250291 0.218282227539 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0649328917575 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0503973516135 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113157842035 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0414308787374 0.0628817314937 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 98.500998004 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.