Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It goes without saying that preparing kids to be successful in their school is a vital and demanding duty. Meanwhile, so many approaches have been propounded to reach the best results in this regard. To the best of my knowledge, paying money in order to encourage students to get higher grades in school is not a good idea. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, parents should teach their children that they must study very well to prepare themselves for the adult life. If youngsters do their duties in a proper way, they will get higher marks. As a result, they are going to make an enormous progress with a tremendous speed. This development in their studying satisfies them, and it helps them to be a successful person in the future. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. About ten years ago, I was a high school student. I have learnt from my parents to have an amazing future, I must be a hard-working student, so I started trying a lot to achieve the highest scores in my school. Hence, I ranked first among all the apprentices in my school. After ten years, I am the best student in the university, and different companies want to hire me; however, my parents have not been giving me money for my achievements.
Second, pupils are not mature enough in financial affairs to wisely spend their money. Considerable amount of money can mislead even good students, and it may cause apprentices to enjoy their life by wasting their money. This process may gradually ruin the future of the youngsters. For instance, four years ago, my cousin had been studying very well before his parents decided to give him large amount of money just because of his great marks. Unfortunately, he wasted his money by buying computer games, so he started playing computer games most of the time. Consequently, his marks was declined which caused his parents noticed that they must give limited money to their child.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that parents should not give their children money just because of their higher grades. This is because juveniles must be hard-work person to be a successful person in the future, and they are not wise enough to spend their money sufficiently.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 154, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proper way" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ult life. If youngsters do their duties in a proper way, they will get higher marks. As a resul...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 235, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'enormous progress'.
Suggestion: enormous progress
...ks. As a result, they are going to make an enormous progress with a tremendous speed. This developme...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 682, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...must give limited money to their child. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, hence, however, if, may, second, so, well, while, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1868.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 394.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.74111675127 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45527027702 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60174445014 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520304568528 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 564.3 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.8930762846 48.9658058833 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.9523809524 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7619047619 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 5.45110844103 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.263970142594 0.236089414692 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.080775853256 0.076458572812 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0439753066355 0.0737576698707 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164951790657 0.150856017488 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0260070674752 0.0645574589148 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.