The claim that the goal of technology should be efficiency to secure more leisure time is based on excessively narrow view. Of course it is true that the development of technology connected to individual working skill saves the time of employees. Owing to this, many people can enjoy their free time with leisure activities. However, the leisure is not sole option to people. many others can decide to spend their own time other than leisure as well. Moreover, the efficiency in other fields related with social or environmental issues can be meaningful for other goals.
In the case the field of technologies are related with individual tasks, the attempts to promote the efficiency of individual prowess at working process is beneficial in virtue of that it would secure more time for workers. It is true that when people have more free time, they will have more opportunities to enjoy leisure. With this freedom, people will be able to experience diverse things and to meet new people without heavy burden of labor. The more leisure time can contributes to enhancing individuals' welfare. For example, with the development of technologies related with housework, such as laundry machine, many house workers have been emancipated from time-consuming and arduous tasks. And this emancipation has increased many individual women' welfare by allowing more their own time to enjoy leisure.
However, there are no reason to assume that people will spend their free time exclusively for leisure. People can take advantage of their free time presented by advancement of efficiency in different ways. We can think of many other cases that people would spend their time with other activities. For instance, many people may decide to unwind at home. On the other hand, there may be some people who want to use their free time with working or studying.
Moreover, the goal of technologies usually applied to the social field or environmental field should be something other than simply more leisure. Although the technologies used in the social or environmental filed also increase efficiency in various ways, the efficiency contribute to generate other values. For example, the development of technologies for military force would make the army more efficient organization. However, the efficiency is meaningful not because it secure more time for soldiers to enjoy leisure, but because it secure the safety of the people.
All in all, even though it is true that the advancement of the technology contributes to making more time for leisure to enhancing efficiency, we don't need to conclude that leisure should be the primary goal for the advancement of technology. Because, the free time gained by efficiency can be used differently saving leisure, and the efficiency in the other fields contributes to diverse purposes.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 378, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Many
...e leisure is not sole option to people. many others can decide to spend their own ti...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r free time with working or studying. Moreover, the goal of technologies usual...
^^^
Line 7, column 475, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'secures'?
Suggestion: secures
...efficiency is meaningful not because it secure more time for soldiers to enjoy leisure...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 538, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'secures'?
Suggestion: secures
...ldiers to enjoy leisure, but because it secure the safety of the people. All in al...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 147, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...for leisure to enhancing efficiency, we dont need to conclude that leisure should be...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, moreover, so, well, for example, for instance, of course, such as, it is true, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.4196629213 153% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 58.6224719101 107% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2371.0 2235.4752809 106% => OK
No of words: 454.0 442.535393258 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22246696035 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8163641944 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 215.323595506 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.411894273128 0.4932671777 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 770.4 704.065955056 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 10.0 4.99550561798 200% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.110696974 60.3974514979 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.086956522 118.986275619 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7391304348 23.4991977007 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.4347826087 5.21951772744 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.290102232628 0.243740707755 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104147083987 0.0831039109588 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0478231166623 0.0758088955206 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.195112425002 0.150359130593 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0294613473104 0.0667264976115 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.1392134831 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.8420337079 90% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.0 12.1639044944 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.38706741573 91% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 100.480337079 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.