Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Environment is changing. Endangered animals, as an important part of environment, play the key role in changing of environment. Although, for some, developing farmland, housing, and industry are more essential for human needs than saving land for endangered animals, for others, the latter is the first priority. I’m with the latter group due to environmental, medical, and cultural aspects.
First and foremost, saving land for endangered animals makes possible protection for food chain. As a matter of fact, the more appropriate habitat for animals, the more chance for them to survive. Nevertheless, majority of people don’t mind such protection; they say: “The society requires housing and industry. Why should the government’s budget go for endangered animals which soon or late disappear?” However, experts explain: “Most of endangered animals belong to a huge food chain. One depends on the other. If one animal disappears, the chain will damage critically so that its compensation takes long time.”
Another significant fact which should be taken into consideration is that surviving on-the-way-of extinction animals consider an effort to confront with health problems. One of the first dangers to confront is air pollution. A medical expert describes: “Despite the fact that people would rather have facilities for farmland and industry, this preference leads them to air pollution, to heart diseases, and gradually to death” That expert continues: “The result of a public opinion poll indicates that health risks become two times more than last year” Therefore, saving lands for endangered animals is a pretext for surviving human being.
Finally yet importantly, saving land for endangered animals is another pretext for increasing people’s culture. In other words, people should have something to care about better off with a good reason such as their environment. An anthropologist discusses: “People’s culture should grow in different aspects. Obsessing by environment makes people dedicated to principles, committed to environment, and connected them to nature” He continues: “If people’s cultures, in this realm, don’t develop, they will destruct lands day in day out to the extent that habitats will disappear either for endangered animals, or for human being.” So, cultural growth is a significant achievement of caring about endangered animals.
On the basis of the points mentioned above, I am convinced that saving land for endangered animals is much more important than allocating lands for farmland, housing, and industry.
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flaws:
The writing style you have may not be a good one for TOEFL exam.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 392 350
No. of Characters: 2081 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.45 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.309 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.799 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 167 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.319 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5