It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree and disagree.

Essay topics:

It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree and disagree.

The advent of modern civilization has been marked by using the latest technology to communicate information at a faster rate and hence cultural norms are often challenged by this. The reason for this is that the uniqueness of each culture lies in the traditional views and values which are ingrained into youngsters from a young age. However, due to online sharing platforms, most ideas and ways of viewing at similar events have changed and therefore I opine that it is important to restrict the use of technology to preserve cultures that have been developed over a few centuries.

Firstly, there are many benefits of advances in technology, it make words small and closer where ever you are, in several aspects especially in communications, moreover, it’ll be able to present more help in social activities, which make others know more about different people, furthermore it save our old culture an example of this many people use communication method to introduce them culture to word, or use it to show them youths the old story about them country, technology help specialization to discover and record to hidden culture like national Geography’s documentary episodes.

Unfortunately, another point is that if we continue consider more about advances technology sooner we’ll lose our identity, our colloquial and other parts of our traditional cultures by influence with other civilization while we are looking to be one of an international member, an example youth create new words from different language to use in our Sudanese language to be more attractive and modern, it make big part of new generation don’t know much about different colloquial and slang, on the other hand national culture can’t face technology progressing and replacing mainly parts of this cultures.

Finally, in my opinion starting works to use advances technology to save and presenting old traditional as well as it can be ,this way it’ll be more positive to save both part advances technology and traditional culture, to show our next generation how we use both sides with lose any part, no one is say stop evolve but, we can progress without lost our identity .

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Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 64, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
... benefits of advances in technology, it make words small and closer where ever you a...
^^^^
Line 5, column 300, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'saves'?
Suggestion: saves
... about different people, furthermore it save our old culture an example of this many...
^^^^
Line 9, column 412, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
...ge to be more attractive and modern, it make big part of new generation don't k...
^^^^
Line 9, column 607, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ogressing and replacing mainly parts of this cultures. Finally, in my opinion s...
^^^^
Line 13, column 125, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ing old traditional as well as it can be ,this way it'll be more positive to ...
^^
Line 13, column 369, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...e can progress without lost our identity .
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, however, if, look, moreover, so, therefore, well, while, as well as, in my opinion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 7.85571142285 38% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 24.0651302605 141% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 41.998997996 124% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1843.0 1615.20841683 114% => OK
No of words: 352.0 315.596192385 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23579545455 5.12529762239 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33147354134 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98617970292 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 176.041082164 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.573863636364 0.561755894193 102% => OK
syllable_count: 603.9 506.74238477 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 16.0721442886 37% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 58.0 20.2975951904 286% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 188.397407979 49.4020404114 381% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 307.166666667 106.682146367 288% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 58.6666666667 20.7667163134 283% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 25.1666666667 7.06120827912 356% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.01903807615 120% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.67935871743 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.155354423918 0.244688304435 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0817171858876 0.084324248473 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0261987664863 0.0667982634062 39% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100378759799 0.151304729494 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0202421947394 0.056905535591 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 32.6 13.0946893788 249% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 4.15 50.2224549098 8% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 15.9 7.44779559118 213% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 27.1 11.3001002004 240% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 14.0 12.4159519038 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.55 8.58950901804 123% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 78.4519038076 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 9.78957915832 199% => OK
gunning_fog: 25.2 10.1190380762 249% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 20.0 10.7795591182 186% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.