Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within that group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.). Clearly, the statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, roller skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.
Clearly, the argument has many ambiguous factors that need to be mentioned precisely. During gathering information in research, we should clearly identify the place where data has been collected. Moreover, the population of the sample and the specific attributes of the members of the population should be declared exactly.
In this argument, it is vague that in which hospitals the information has been collected, and to which city these hospitals belong? In fact, every city has its own rules for driving that are different in their strictness. Maybe these driving rules are not strict enough or have some deficiencies, which makes them be the cause of most of the accidents for roller-skating. It is also not discussed what kinds of accidents they are. Did other drivers cause accidents or these accidents resulted from the collision with some obstacles? Moreover, different hospitals serve different parts of the city. Some hospitals are located downtown where is, perhaps, the most crowded part of the city having many accidents. Thus the location of the research must be clear, according to which we can understand and evaluate the situation of the place.
Having only talked about 75 percent of the people who had roller-skating accidents, the author did not explain the accidents of the remaining 25 percent. Since they wore protective equipment, it should be described their health condition after their accidents in order to see to what extent equipment prevents them from being injured. Perhaps, the health condition of some of those who wore equipment is worse; therefore, we can conclude that wearing protective clothing would not help much.
The author mentions light-reflective material which can protect those skaters in the dark. But it should be clarified what percentage of those accidents happened in dark places or at night. Maybe a few numbers of those accidents occur in dark places.
Although it may be obvious that applying high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment may reduce the rate of roller-skating accidents, the statistical information should be registered precisely so that we can understand to what extent it worth to invest money in these materials. Moreover, we can get to know how well protective equipment protects us from being injured.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-02 | arjun2112 | 37 | view |
| 2019-11-06 | mehran_tgn | 52 | view |
| 2019-11-01 | Gaurav Singla | 82 | view |
| 2019-09-02 | yej | 75 | view |
| 2019-06-10 | yanx | 72 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 364 350
No. of Characters: 1883 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.368 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.173 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.788 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.158 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.741 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.182 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 711, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...part of the city having many accidents. Thus the location of the research must be cl...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, thus, well, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1947.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 364.0 441.139720559 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3489010989 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36792674256 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87874336926 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.521978021978 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 584.1 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 51.7367617925 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.473684211 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1578947368 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.36842105263 5.70786347227 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.209952695011 0.218282227539 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.063681529128 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0594888319238 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110852098745 0.128457276422 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0724807733802 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.