Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree?
Opponents of saving land for endangared animals claim that human needs such as housing, farmland and industry are more important than protecting area for jeopardised animals. Urbanization is piece of our system and we can’t stop. If it doesn’t continue primitivization will follow our life. Because civilization comes with humans. Endangered animals can be saved artificial methods such as zoos etc. In contrast urbanization cant occur itself if no one can do anything. According to these people urbanization are more vital than saving animals.
However i completely disagree with this idea. Animals are part of the food chain. So if some animals extinct, other pieces of food pyramid will be spoilt and if rings of the food pyramid spoilt, living in earth will be harder to mankind. For instance decreasing number of any type of animal’s can threat animals who are placed above them in the food pyramid or it can trigger to another animals which placed below them in the food pyramid. Thus people can struggle to reduce another type of animals or they can’t save other linages. This can cause too much problems such as reducing the resources or hardship of producing foods . Famine can effect everything related to humanity. They cant establish farmland, industries or housing. Because if resources contracts, it affects to every artifact structures.For example if water decrease farmlands cant be created because agricultural products cant be grown without water. Industries cant work because deficiency of raw materials. Housing areas cant be opened by the reason of lacking resources.
All in all protecting endangered animals is very vital to nature and human life. In contrast to preferring to artifacts, attaching importance of relicts will help thriving. It will help to growing healthier generation in the future.
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Sentence: So if some animals extinct, other pieces of food pyramid will be spoilt and if rings of the food pyramid spoilt, living in earth will be harder to mankind.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to animals and extinct
Sentence: For instance decreasing number of any type of animal's can threat animals who are placed above them in the food pyramid or it can trigger to another animals which placed below them in the food pyramid.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and animals
Sentence: Opponents of saving land for endangared animals claim that human needs such as housing, farmland and industry are more important than protecting area for jeopardised animals.
Error: jeopardised Suggestion: jeopardized
Error: endangared Suggestion: endangered
Sentence: If it doesn't continue primitivization will follow our life.
Error: primitivization Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.65 21.0
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
The content is not well organized. Better like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 293 350
No. of Characters: 1503 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.137 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.13 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.677 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.65 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.61 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.275 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.411 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5