The diagrams below show stages in the development of simple cooking equipment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The chart illustrates the process of developing cooking appliance over the period of many years. The general overview is that the process follows three stages.
To specify, in the first stage, the appliance were very simple with only several stones, which rounded some pieces of firewood. The second stage experienced the appearance of a shield made of clay to cover around stones and woods, which ensure the safety for users and protect the fire from the strong wind.
Nevertheless, only when the last stage came, could we see the most significant innovation in cooking equipment. In specification, the firewood would no longer be used and the stones had been removed to give place for the grate for charcoal. The shield had been strengthened thanks to the use of metal instead of clay for the producing. Moreover, on the side of the shield there is a door, which helps to release air as well as ash. Above the shield, there is a clay lining, which can shield the fire. On the top of the lining, there are three triangle pieces made of metal in order to support for pot.
In conclusion, it it very impressive that the latest cooking equipment has an additional handle which give easier access for the users to move and carry.
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has an additional handle which give easier access
has an additional handle which gives easier access
flaws:
Are you sure 'which' here is used properly?
'the appliance were very simple with only several stones, which rounded some pieces of firewood.'
'The second stage experienced the appearance of a shield made of clay to cover around stones and woods, which ensure the safety...'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 214 200
No. of Characters: 986 1000
No. of Different Words: 122 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.825 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.607 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.367 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 64 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 38 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 23 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.868 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.61 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4