Recently Honey Bun replaced the use of sugar with aspartame, a sugar substitute, throughout its bakeries in the Northeast regions of the United States. Contrary to initial expectations, this change did not negatively impact our customer’s preferences. So far, only 5 percent of our customers have complained about this change, suggesting that an average of 95 customers out of 100 have no problems with the use of aspartame in our bakery products. It is therefore clear that since our customers have not expressed great concern about the use of aspartame instead of sugar, we should extend this change to all the branches of Honey Bun bakeries in the rest of the country.
The author argues that the replacement of sugar with aspartame, in honey bun bakeries throughout the northeast regions of united stated has not negatively impacted the customer's preferences. only 5% of the cutomers have complained. so all branches of the bakery should replace sugar with the sugar substitute, aspartame.
Firstly, the author says that only 5% of the customers have complained. The author does not mention the number. it might happen that the total number of customer were 10000 and 5%of them have complained which is 500 customers. The number 500 is huge. this was just an illustartion the number could have been bigger, hence leading to dissatisfaction of huge number of customers of the bakery. this can ultimately impact the sales of the bakery. so, the author could have mentioned the actual number of people who were taken into account, this would have strengethened his claim.
Secondly, the author says change has been into effect only in northeast regions of united states. it might happen that other regions of the country would react negatively to the change from sugar to its substitute. also the number of such people who deny the change would be greater in comparison to the people in the northeast region of the country who actually like the change. Had the author mentioned that the population of northeast regions exceeds population of other regions combined significantly, then the argument could have been more plausible as it would be a majority of population in the northeast regions of the country.
Thirdly, the author assumes that the 95 customer out of 100 who haven't expressed any dissatisfaction hare happy with the replacement of sugar with the substitute. it might have happened that among thiose 95 customers too there are people who are unhappy about the change but they haven't expressed their concern. they might have switched to another bakery for the same. Had the author mentioned anything about having taken feedback of those 95% of customers appreciating the use of aspartame the argument have been more cogent.
The author express his idea of extending the change from sugar to its substitute to all branches of honey bun bakeries in the rest of the country. However it might happen that the idea might turn out to a failure and people of other regions excluding northeast regions do not like the change. it might be possible that people of northeast are more open to new ideas. but not necessarily the other regions. The other regions may have a conserved opinion about change. it differs from region to region. hence the author should have taken into consideration all those factors before asserting to extend the change to the rest of the country.
hence we can conclude that, the author has made certain assumptions and reached a conclusion. but the assumptions are not backed by numbers. Had the author mentioned some facts, actual numbers the argument have been more convinving. also a study to different regions and their preferences might be added to the argument to make it more clear and cogent.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-11-27 | Harshali_15 | 77 | view |
| 2019-01-08 | gauri1412 | 43 | view |
| 2018-12-27 | Keenbean24 | 77 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 513 350
No. of Characters: 2502 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.759 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.877 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.571 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 39.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.95 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.453 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.737 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.2 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 192, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Only
...ely impacted the customers preferences. only 5% of the cutomers have complained. so ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 233, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...nly 5% of the cutomers have complained. so all branches of the bakery should repla...
^^
Line 13, column 113, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...The author does not mention the number. it might happen that the total number of c...
^^
Line 13, column 252, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... 500 customers. The number 500 is huge. this was just an illustartion the number cou...
^^^^
Line 13, column 393, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...huge number of customers of the bakery. this can ultimately impact the sales of the ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 445, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...imately impact the sales of the bakery. so, the author could have mentioned the ac...
^^
Line 23, column 99, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... in northeast regions of united states. it might happen that other regions of the ...
^^
Line 23, column 216, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...he change from sugar to its substitute. also the number of such people who deny the ...
^^^^
Line 23, column 216, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: also,
...he change from sugar to its substitute. also the number of such people who deny the ...
^^^^
Line 35, column 65, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: haven't
...mes that the 95 customer out of 100 who havent expressed any dissatisfaction hare happ...
^^^^^^
Line 35, column 164, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...placement of sugar with the substitute. it might have happened that among thiose 9...
^^
Line 35, column 281, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: haven't
...o are unhappy about the change but they havent expressed their concern. they might hav...
^^^^^^
Line 35, column 313, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...ut they havent expressed their concern. they might have switched to another bakery f...
^^^^
Line 47, column 148, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...un bakeries in the rest of the country. However it might happen that the idea might tur...
^^^^^^^
Line 47, column 294, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...rtheast regions do not like the change. it might be possible that people of northe...
^^
Line 47, column 368, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...f northeast are more open to new ideas. but not necessarily the other regions. The ...
^^^
Line 47, column 468, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... have a conserved opinion about change. it differs from region to region. hence th...
^^
Line 47, column 502, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...ange. it differs from region to region. hence the author should have taken into consi...
^^^^^
Line 47, column 502, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: hence,
...ange. it differs from region to region. hence the author should have taken into consi...
^^^^^
Line 59, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...e rest of the country. hence we can conclude that, the author has ma...
^^^^^
Line 59, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: hence,
...e rest of the country. hence we can conclude that, the author has ma...
^^^^^
Line 59, column 95, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...n assumptions and reached a conclusion. but the assumptions are not backed by numbe...
^^^
Line 59, column 234, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...the argument have been more convinving. also a study to different regions and their ...
^^^^
Line 59, column 234, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: also,
...the argument have been more convinving. also a study to different regions and their ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2644.0 2260.96107784 117% => OK
No of words: 510.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18431372549 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75217629947 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63124177811 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.4 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 792.0 705.55239521 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 54.5863920532 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.1724137931 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5862068966 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.58620689655 5.70786347227 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 24.0 5.25449101796 457% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.262852096488 0.218282227539 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0788690595245 0.0743258471296 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.11208188102 0.0701772020484 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171648686338 0.128457276422 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.159350736128 0.0628817314937 253% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.33 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 12.3882235529 44% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.