Recently Honey Bun replaced the use of sugar with aspartame, a sugar substitute, throughout its bakeries in the Northeast regions of the United States. Contrary to initial expectations, this change did not negatively impact our customer’s preferences. So far, only 5 percent of our customers have complained about this change, suggesting that an average of 95 customers out of 100 have no problems with the use of aspartame in our bakery products. It is therefore clear that since our customers have not expressed great concern about the use of aspartame instead of sugar, we should extend this change to all the branches of Honey Bun bakeries in the rest of the country.
In the girven memorandum the author mention Honey Bun Bakery replaced sugar with aspartame throughout its bakeries in the Northeast regions of the United states.And he concluded that they should extend this change to all the branches in the rest of the country on he basis of few reviews. This argument is flawed and illogical as they did not mention exact information about these changes. Therefore the entire argument is not totally convincing.
Firstly, Honey Bun Bakery replaced the use of sugar with aspartame a sugar substitute throughout its bakreirs in the Northeast reginons of the United States.And further they did not get any neagative imapct on custome's prefrences. Here author does not mention why they replaced sugar with aspartame.As per they mention aspartame is substitute of sugar but we don't know the properties of thissubstitute.Thus we need more information about the properties of aspartame then we can campare bothe sugar and aspartame.Even author does not mention how may branches they have in the Noretheast region we need more deatil information about this for futher conclusion.
Secondly , they mention only 5 percent customer complained about this change. But here auther does not mention what type of complained customer have as in they are complaining about substitute or about change of test.Furthermore other customer may be did not recognized this changes or may they did not ordered dishes which containing aspartame.Here author mention that just 5 percent customer gives negative complained but we cant not decide that these changes are accepted on the basis of 5 percent complaints.The author needs to provide more statistical data about impact of these changes.
Therefore we can not conclude that on the basis of this data that aspartame does not have negative impact and they should extend this
change to all the branches for that we need more sarvey and need more data.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
---|---|---|---|
2019-11-27 | Harshali_15 | 77 | view |
2019-01-08 | gauri1412 | 43 | view |
2018-12-27 | Keenbean24 | 77 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: In the girven memorandum the author mention Honey Bun Bakery replaced sugar with aspartame throughout its bakeries in the Northeast regions of the United states.And he concluded that they should extend this change to all the branches in the rest of the country on he basis of few reviews.
Error: girven Suggestion: given
Error: aspartame Suggestion: aspirate
Sentence: Firstly, Honey Bun Bakery replaced the use of sugar with aspartame a sugar substitute throughout its bakreirs in the Northeast reginons of the United States.And further they did not get any neagative imapct on custome's prefrences.
Error: bakreirs Suggestion: bakers
Error: reginons Suggestion: regions
Error: imapct Suggestion: impact
Error: neagative Suggestion: negative
Error: aspartame Suggestion: aspirate
Error: prefrences Suggestion: preferences
Sentence: Here author does not mention why they replaced sugar with aspartame.As per they mention aspartame is substitute of sugar but we don't know the properties of thissubstitute.Thus we need more information about the properties of aspartame then we can campare bothe sugar and aspartame.Even author does not mention how may branches they have in the Noretheast region we need more deatil information about this for futher conclusion.
Error: deatil Suggestion: detail
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: thissubstitute Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: bothe Suggestion: both
Error: campare Suggestion: compare
Error: futher Suggestion: father
Sentence: But here auther does not mention what type of complained customer have as in they are complaining about substitute or about change of test.
Error: auther Suggestion: author
Sentence: Therefore we can not conclude that on the basis of this data that aspartame does not have negative impact and they should extend this change to all the branches for that we need more sarvey and need more data.
Error: sarvey Suggestion: survey
----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 15 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 317 350
No. of Characters: 1583 1500
No. of Different Words: 139 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.22 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.994 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.577 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 27.079 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.43 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.664 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.206 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 40, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: And
... Northeast regions of the United states.And he concluded that they should extend th...
^^^
Line 3, column 9, Rule ID: HE_THE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'on the basis'?
Suggestion: on the basis
...he branches in the rest of the country on he basis of few reviews. This argument is flawed...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 10, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...exact information about these changes. Therefore the entire argument is not totally conv...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 31, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: And
...ortheast reginons of the United States.And further they did not get any neagative ...
^^^
Line 7, column 40, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: As
... why they replaced sugar with aspartame.As per they mention aspartame is substitut...
^^
Line 7, column 100, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...aspartame is substitute of sugar but we dont know the properties of this substitute...
^^^^
Line 8, column 12, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
...know the properties of this substitute.Thus we need more information about the prop...
^^^^
Line 8, column 12, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...know the properties of this substitute.Thus we need more information about the prop...
^^^^
Line 8, column 122, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Even
...e can campare bothe sugar and aspartame.Even author does not mention how may branch...
^^^^
Line 11, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...t this for futher conclusion. Secondly , they mention only 5 percent customer co...
^^
Line 12, column 94, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Furthermore
...bout substitute or about change of test.Furthermore other customer may be did not recogniz...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 12, column 94, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...bout substitute or about change of test.Furthermore other customer may be did not recogniz...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 5, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'recognize'
Suggestion: recognize
...thermore other customer may be did not recognized this changes or may they did not ordere...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 49, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'order'
Suggestion: order
...gnized this changes or may they did not ordered dishes which containing aspartame.Here ...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 91, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Here
...dered dishes which containing aspartame.Here author mention that just 5 percent cus...
^^^^
Line 14, column 43, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...stomer gives negative complained but we cant not decide that these changes are accep...
^^^^
Line 14, column 128, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...ed on the basis of 5 percent complaints.The author needs to provide more statistic...
^^^
Line 16, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...al data about impact of these changes. Therefore we can not conclude that on the basis o...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, furthermore, may, second, secondly, then, therefore, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 19.6327345309 31% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1632.0 2260.96107784 72% => OK
No of words: 309.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28155339806 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1926597562 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83408714544 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 134.0 204.123752495 66% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.433656957929 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 504.0 705.55239521 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 19.7664670659 40% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 38.0 22.8473053892 166% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 157.071589968 57.8364921388 272% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 204.0 119.503703932 171% => OK
Words per sentence: 38.625 23.324526521 166% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.75 5.70786347227 171% => OK
Paragraphs: 16.0 5.15768463074 310% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 18.0 5.25449101796 343% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.280621177771 0.218282227539 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.140057984141 0.0743258471296 188% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.121309687379 0.0701772020484 173% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10911497833 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.101426237837 0.0628817314937 161% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 22.8 14.3799401198 159% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 32.91 48.3550499002 68% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 18.1 12.197005988 148% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.94 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.0 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 98.500998004 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 17.2 11.1389221557 154% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.