“A novel therapy has come to our attention that promises to significantly decrease the incidence of dementia in our aging community. According to a 21-year study led by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and funded by the National Institute on Aging, while many physical activities like playing tennis or golf, swimming, bicycling, dancing, and walking for exercise provided cardiovascular benefits for seniors, only one physical activity offered protection against dementia: that was frequent dancing. At GoldenAge we currently provide residents with extensive recreational facilities. These include tennis courts, a fitness center, and lap pools in each senior apartment complex. However, we have no dance studio space at GoldenAge, nor any social dance programs.
Clearly, social dancing can prevent or delay the onset of dementia. Since the onset of dementia inevitably signals the imminent move of residents from our independent living apartments to the more heavily staffed and therefore more costly to operate assisted living quarters, we recommend the establishment of social dance programs at all GoldenAge senior residences—as a cost-effective, positive way to ward off dementia and enable our residents to remain in their independent living quarters.”
The argument that frequent dancing can prevent the incidence of dementia in aging community has several flaws as it ignores some crucial points to be taken into account like age of people i.e. age groups in seniors, condition of conducting experiment etc. which play an important role to influence the outcome of the experiment .
Firstly, the argument states that a 21-year study on seniors reveals that frequent dancing precludes dementia. But here, it doesn't clearly states the age-groups of people i.e. whether these people are in transient period of seniors or they are already seniors from early, moreover coherently, whether the age-groups under consideration is homogeneous or the sample of experiment is heterogeneous. Inference drawn on a homogeneous sample is biased one, so the conclusion drawn from the study can’t be logical to be approved.
Secondly, the argument doesn't specify the condition under which the experiment has been conducted. It doesn't states that whether the people are practicing dancing simultaneously with the others salubrious exercises- basketball, tennis or swimming or not. As, it can be the case that dancing with other health-beneficial exercises has its efficacy to forestall dementia but only frequent dancing is not sufficient to do so. So, after nullifying the effects of other exercises, one can conclude that dancing can be regarded as a preventive measure to dementia.
Lastly, the argument doesn't indicate any the duration of practicing dancing which is necessary for health. Moreover, it doesn't reveal whether dancing is effective after afflicted by dementia or not. Moreover, the argument states that onset of dementia ineluctably signals the shifting of the affected person from independent living apartment to more exorbitant living quarter. But it can’t be due to dementia, may be the person is willing to move from this apartment for some reason.
In conclusion, the facts in argument are not completely cogent. The argument does little to bolster the stated conclusion that dancing can avert dementia.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2014-07-26 | Neha Ghosh | 60 | view |
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. Suggested: The writer is also suggesting that GoldenAge ought to open a dance studio to prevent the onset of dementia in its residents. While(if the results of the study are true) this may help prevent the migration of residents from independent living facilities to assisted living facilities the writer fails to take into consideration the fact that majority of the residents may already be affected by dementia. Since GoldenAge is a senior citizen's facility there is a possibility that majority of the residents are already affected by dementia. In such a case opening a dance studio would provide little or no benefit.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 326 350
No. of Characters: 1701 1500
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.249 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.218 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.646 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.376 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.619 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5