Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
young individuals are a crucial part of our society. youth are at serious age that if communities cannot guide them appropriately, they may face severe problem during their life. some people believe that young children do not be affected by movies and television at all negatively, while other hold an opposite view and refute this thought. In my opinion, movies and television have less positive effect than negative effects on behavior of young people for two noticeable reasons.
The main reason is that all commercial advertising on television try to persuade youth to purchase more luxurious stuff that really cause to change their method life negatively. As over time, human's life have been undergone by different way such as advertising on television. In the past, people lived very simple and also they could get married easily, whereas now young people be affected by advertising on television that cause them not to convince by simple life. For example, now I am 20 years old and live in contemporary time that everything change fast. A few days ago, when I decided to get married with a girl who was very simple. Fortunately, our families accepted to buy a small house with little facility. However, she became that why did not have lavish equipment such as good Cleaner. unfortunately, one of the commercial advertising led her to change his mind. this event cause us to end our relationship which was very hard. this experience taught me that young people should avoid to watch television if they want to have excellent life.
Another reason is that some movies on television are not suitable for youth that really can affect on their mood negatively. Every broadcast has different essence for different age. if young people watch bad movies that are very offensive, they become wild mood that in fact impact on society indirectly. For instance, when I, who was very silence manner, was in high school, one night I saw a documentary about fight in Iraq. It was really fearful for me because I never see this circumstance in advance. I remember that I could not sleep and cause me to react everything that approached me inadvertently in order to save myself. unfortunately, next morning when I was playing with my friend who bothered me occasionally, I broke his head because I learned from that program form television. this events led me to be fired from school where the best place in my hometown. As you can see, if I had not watch that broadcast, I never would have hurted not only myself but also others.
In conclusion, negative effects of movie and television are very drastic on behavior of young children. Not just do their life be changed, but also their mood become more aggressive. Parents should protect their young children from watching any program on television.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Young
young individuals are a crucial part of our s...
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Line 1, column 54, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Youth
...uals are a crucial part of our society. youth are at serious age that if communities ...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 180, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
... face severe problem during their life. some people believe that young children do n...
^^^^
Line 5, column 139, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'changing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: changing
... more luxurious stuff that really cause to change their method life negatively. As over t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 801, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Unfortunately
... lavish equipment such as good Cleaner. unfortunately, one of the commercial advertising led ...
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Line 5, column 878, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...advertising led her to change his mind. this event cause us to end our relationship ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 943, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...d our relationship which was very hard. this experience taught me that young people ...
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Line 11, column 93, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
... not suitable for youth that really can affect on their mood negatively. Every broadcast ...
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Line 11, column 183, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...as different essence for different age. if young people watch bad movies that are ...
^^
Line 11, column 632, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Unfortunately
... inadvertently in order to save myself. unfortunately, next morning when I was playing with m...
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Line 11, column 794, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...rned from that program form television. this events led me to be fired from school w...
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Line 11, column 794, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...rned from that program form television. this events led me to be fired from school w...
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Line 11, column 903, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'watched'.
Suggestion: watched
... hometown. As you can see, if I had not watch that broadcast, I never would have hurt...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, really, so, whereas, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, such as, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 11.0286738351 218% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 66.0 43.0788530466 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2346.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 473.0 407.700716846 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95983086681 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66353547975 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70928397196 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.530655391121 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 740.7 618.680645161 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.3947985425 48.9658058833 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.2307692308 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1923076923 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.5376344086 235% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.202053007305 0.236089414692 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0547301037198 0.076458572812 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0750426974934 0.0737576698707 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141610152196 0.150856017488 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0642068578179 0.0645574589148 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.5 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.