TPO 08 agree or disagree: television advertising directed towards young children (age two to five) should not be allowed.
Whether television advertisements ought to exactly aim young kids or not is a convoluted question and has been a matter of argumentation among people for a long time. On one hand, some individuals agree with this opinion because they think that this will benefit manufacturers whose products are related to little toddlers. On the other hand, others believe that this is a harmful idea since it may damage their future by so many ways. Personally, I comply with the latter suggestion in spite of the fact that the former one seems to be more acceptable and has more aficionados. My answer to this debating bone of contention is twofold. In the following, the rationale behind my choice will be elaborated by the most outstanding, solid proofs.
The first and foremost explanation is that children in these ages are not mature enough to distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate contents; therefore, they are prone to make incorrect judgments by watching these advertisements. To put it into a more vivid picture, researchers from RMIT university, one of the leading universities in Australia, conducted a survey of parents with young offspring among whom they disseminated a questionnaire and realized that obesity is more in children who like to watch food-related advertisements. It is good to be noted that most of these advertisements are made to increase the producers' profit, so they may not really consider the children's health issues. As an illustration, there was a famous advertisement in England which encouraged kids to drink a well-known orange juice as it contained Vitamin C. A girl used to drink one liter of that brand's orange juice every day, but after three months, her face turned orange due to the fact that the factory used color instead of real oranges. Moreover, these children may intimate some actions which they see in these advertisements which can affect them badly. For instance, there was a famous advertisement in USA which showed that little kids eat a snack after their school. This specific advertisement influence almost all children in America in the late 19's insomuch as all of them used to eat an extra unhealthy meal.
The second and equally important reason is that these advertisements can distract kids from the activities which are substantial for their development by showing them unnecessary hobbies, such as video games. Scholars have found that children who insist on doing the activities which are dictated to them from the advertisements will not be hired in senior positions in their 20's. For instance, my cousin loved to watch advertisements of "Play Station 3" (a videogame brand); thus, instead of being attracted by useful activies like reading books, he addicted to these wasteful games even though his parents tried their best to make him quit.
In conclusion, as the aforementioned rationalizations and facts, media should not allow the producers to provide these advertisements which aim small kids. As these toddlers are premature they will be misled and distracted from far-reaching activities. Furthermore, they will incline to consume the foods which are not healthy and nutritious. Still, this question has mutually exclusive hypotheses, so there are other probable ideas about it. Therefore, neither are my assumptions robustly content, nor do others' explanations take into account.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 180, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e contents; therefore, they are prone to make incorrect judgments by watching the...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, may, moreover, really, second, so, still, therefore, thus, well, for instance, in conclusion, such as, in spite of, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 15.1003584229 172% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 11.0286738351 209% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 52.1666666667 134% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2840.0 1977.66487455 144% => OK
No of words: 539.0 407.700716846 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.26901669759 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81833721656 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05760285009 2.67179642975 114% => OK
Unique words: 297.0 212.727598566 140% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.551020408163 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 887.4 618.680645161 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.3806184815 48.9658058833 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.090909091 100.406767564 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5 20.6045352989 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.36363636364 5.45110844103 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135280910493 0.236089414692 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0384126694649 0.076458572812 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0311487863162 0.0737576698707 42% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0787950449545 0.150856017488 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0218971509648 0.0645574589148 34% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.99 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 142.0 86.8835125448 163% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.002688172 150% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.