The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The website of the Mozart School of Music makes the school sound very impressive to potential clients. They believe that their school should be the first choice for any parent wishing to begin music lessons for their child.
The school assumes that not having an audition is a positive thing to parents wishing to enroll their children in music lessons. It probably is for many parents - especially those who have children who have never participated in any sort of music lessons. Those parents likely want a school that knows how to teach from scratch. This may be a negative to parents of children who are already gifted in an instrument and want to ensure their child has ample attention to grow. They may believe a lack of audition indicates a lack of prestige and think the school is not right for their more gifted child.
The school also assumes that offering a wide range of genres and musical instruments is a positive to all parents. Again, this is likely great for parents with children who do not have any musical experience - children will be able to experience a wide variety of music and, hopefully, find something they enjoy. On the other hand, children who already know what they like may be frustrated if they have to try genres and instruments they already know they dislike. Parents may feel that such varied offerings indicates that the school does not excel at any one instrument or genre, including their child's chosen one.
Finally the site states that the school has many graduates that have gone on to become successful musicians and have distinguished area-musicians as faculty. This, unlike the previous arguments, is likely more appealing to the parents who have children who are experienced in music. They likely would want their child being taught by people who know what it takes to pursue their child's passion for music. On the other hand, parents who have children just getting into music might feel like being taught by distinguished musicians is a waste - their child could likely learn the basics at a fraction of the cost and then, if passionate, could pursue an education from a place like the Mozart School of Music.
The Mozart School of Music is trying to cater to every type of parent - they believe all parents should see them as the first choice. In doing so, their appeal to parents of children with and without musical experience is not as strong as it could be if instead the school tried to specialize in either teaching youngsters with no abilities or having auditions and only teaching the best children.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 439 350
No. of Characters: 2079 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.577 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.736 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.391 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.824 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.562 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.381 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.588 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 208, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n who do not have any musical experience - children will be able to experience a ...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
... including their childs chosen one. Finally the site states that the school has man...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, if, may, so, then, sort of, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 33.0505617978 106% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 58.6224719101 92% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2125.0 2235.4752809 95% => OK
No of words: 439.0 442.535393258 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84054669704 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57737117129 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44055121297 2.79657885939 87% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 215.323595506 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.435079726651 0.4932671777 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 641.7 704.065955056 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.3950892856 60.3974514979 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.0 118.986275619 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8235294118 23.4991977007 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.94117647059 5.21951772744 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.481129436279 0.243740707755 197% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.205430607046 0.0831039109588 247% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.157288887066 0.0758088955206 207% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.3799633106 0.150359130593 253% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.240026121131 0.0667264976115 360% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.1392134831 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.8420337079 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.09 12.1639044944 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.39 8.38706741573 88% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 100.480337079 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.