Agree or disagree?Young people nowadays do not give enough time to help their communities.

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Agree or disagree?
Young people nowadays do not give enough time to help their communities.

Nowadays, it is commonly accepted that young people are reluctant for trying to improve their society. Contrary to this popular belief, there are still those who argue that the sense of being useful for the society is important for the young people. I, to a great extent, agree with the view point of the first groups. As far as I concern, these days the young people are busy with their own desires and goals and not pay much attention to the society. In the following paragraphs, I will explicate my reasons in details to buttress my position toward the argument.

First and foremost, today's high rate of migration among the young people especially in the developing counties depicts that they prefer to tolerate hard conditions of migration and migrate to a foreign country in the aim of better future instead of staying their homeland and try to improve their own country. Annually there are tremendous number of students that leave the country and have no plan for coming back again. However, in the past there were many people who traveled to foreign countries for studying and gaining experience in many aspects and after their graduations came back to the country and used their knowledge and experience for proliferate their own country.

The other substantial fact that should be taken under consideration is that now people confront different problems and difficulties which prevent them from caring about other important issues such as trying to improve the society. As a matter of fact, they try to solve their own problems and struggles.

The last but not the least, I concern that most of the young person are a little selfish. They always want more and their own satisfaction has priority to other's willing. For instance, there are many cases that a person decide to become a doctor because of his future society position and earning money. Though in the past the person wanted to become a doctor for helping people and serving his society.

To recapitulate briefly, based on aforementioned reasons I can draw this conclusion that now the young people attempt for achieving their own desires and goals rather than that of the past.

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young people are busy with their own desires and goals and not pay much attention to the society
young people are busy with their own desires and goals and do not pay much attention to the society

number of students that leave the country
number of students who leave the country

used their knowledge and experience for proliferate their own country.
used their knowledge and experience to proliferate their own country.

that a person decide to become a doctor
that a person decides to become a doctor

flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic. The topic is: 'Young people nowadays do not give enough time to help their communities' not 'to their countries'.

and this is a wrong conclusion: 'now the young people attempt for achieving their own desires and goals rather than that of the past.'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? in 30
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 363 350
No. of Characters: 1756 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.365 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.837 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.442 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.691 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.594 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5