The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"A recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for personal or recreational activities, such as banking or playing games. In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Using electronic monitoring software is the best way to reduce the number of hours Climpson employees spend on personal or recreational activities. We predict that installing software to monitor employees' Internet use will allow us to prevent employees from wasting time, thereby increasing productivity and improving overall profits."
In this argument, the author suggests that productivity and profits of Climpson Industries will be improved by preventing employees from wasting time through installing software to monitor employees' Internet use. This conclusion is based on a survey which indicated the main recreational activities of major workers on the Internet and the assumption that electronic monitoring software can effectively reduce the time wasted online during work without any side effect or alternative solution. However, some crucial evidence fail to be presented, which casts doubt on the validity of this argument.
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Sentence: It is obviously assumed that being electronically monitored, employees will devoted to their work without any distraction.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to will and devoted
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 389 350
No. of Characters: 2139 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.441 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.499 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.888 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 177 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 109 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.45 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.025 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.507 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.045 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5