Some parent offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, educational matters are considered as an essential element in each person's life. Therefore, parents use various methods to encourage their little kids to study harder. Personally, I believe setting some financial rewards for students is an excellent idea for making them pay more attention to their lessons. I have two main reasons for my point of view, which will be explored in the following essay.
To begin with, parents have different ways of convincing their kids to spend more time on their assignments in order to get better final scores. Although each reward has its advantages, I believe giving money is the best, because juveniles will be able to buy whatever they like. My own experience is a compelling example of this reality. When I was a high school student, my father used to set some money as a reward for me. Because of earning that money, I did all my best in my school work and, most of the time got the best grade in each course's final test. After getting the gift, I went to a city mall and bought those things I had been thinking about them all the time. I believe most of my good scores in my school period were due to my father's awards.
Secondly, as parents, individuals ought to teach some life lessons to their little kids. One of the crucial experiences can be the fact that in order to have something, we must work hard. Imagine a boy who has a dream about buying a new version of the PlayStation. His father can either but it for him or tell him he will give the money exactly as much as a device price if the boy can get a high mark in his exam. By doing so, he will not only be encouraged to study hard but also completely understand if a person wants something he must work for it and sacrifice some other unimportant aspects of his life. For instance, he needs to avoid playing with his friends and focus more on his educational materials. Thanks to my father, by doing such a method, these days, I am aware of this fact in my life, and I will do the same for my future kid or kids.
To make the long story short, according to the aforementioned arguments, I am of the opinion that setting money as a reward for students to push them to work harder on their studies is a great idea. In this way, those adolescents can buy whatever they want, not what their parents want. Besides, this can be a crucial lecture for their entire life that they need to work for their dream and can not have whatever they want easily.
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- TPO 40 Integrated Writing Task 70
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 78, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...sidered as an essential element in each persons life. Therefore, parents use various me...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, for instance, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2010.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 456.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.40789473684 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42543066526 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52850877193 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 631.8 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.8929935153 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.7142857143 100.406767564 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7142857143 20.6045352989 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.45110844103 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.259888335066 0.236089414692 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0744442439279 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0452245378936 0.0737576698707 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157224252418 0.150856017488 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0394755379385 0.0645574589148 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.3 10.9000537634 76% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.55 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.