The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author here has proposed a clue that will effect of birth order on an individual's level of simulation. This piece of information, though interesting, is nonetheless not very convincing. This argument is rife with holes and assumptions, and thus, no strong enough to express stimulations situations.
One of the questions that come to the mind is: what is the reason behind increased hormone cortisol in firstborn infant monkey? This argument failed to express how it will affect the new born monkey. The author only mentions that it will increase activity level compare to their younger siblings. But it is not clear that whether it bad or good for their health and also for their survival. It is very important to take into account the unfortunate effects of stimulation process.
Likewise, the author is optimistic regarding the state of high levels of cortisol in human reproduction. According to the argument this statement will l not comparable with firstborn monkey. The author never explains why there is high level of cortisol hormone in human first born baby. This argument consists very ambiguous and belittle meaning to concur with stimulating situations.
Closely linked to the journal is the assiduous assumption that first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol during their pregnancy time will lead to several offspring. While it is illogical to some extent, because there is no correlated information is provided to support this point. The author never shows whether how this research study is will help to understand the scientific cause and effect of birth order in stimulation process.
Examining all the various angles and factors involved with this journal, the argument does not justify scientific process of birth order of individual's level of stimulation. While the proposal does highlight a possibility, more information is required to warrant any action.
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flaws:
This is a new GRE topic with no 'holes' however. Need to 'Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations'.
Go this link for explanations:
http://testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/following-appeared-part-letter-editor…
Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: ? Excellent
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.023 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5