The presented memo of the Mozart School argues that parents should enroll their child in the Mozart School for four reasons. While it seems, at first glance, plausible to agree with the advertisement, however, it relies on unwarranted assumptions. Thus, to fully evaluate the argument, it is necessary to examine their assumptions.
To begin with, the Mozart School assumes that no limitation for enrollment benefits all students. However, they should consider the differences between the talented kids and novice kids. There are huge gaps between kids who already are familiar with musical notions and not. Thus, even if Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels and they do not have an audition to attend the school, it might not be an advantage over other musical academies.
Secondly, the author of the memo presumes that parents and their children want to learn and attract all kinds of musics. Although the Mozart School can offer instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well as a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock, it is not an essential requirement for them to pick up a musical academy. Alternatively, they may just prefer to cheap one with a focus on piano. Therefore, a variety of courses may not be the determinant when parents chose children's music academy.
Thirdly, the Mozart School advertises that they have some most distinguished musicians in the area. It seems assumed that more talented musicians can teach how to play an instrument well. However, it is logical to think that teaching skills is something different to be a distinguished musician. Even if the school has the most famous musician, it is not sure he or she can teach kids with kids' perspectives and enough patience.
Lastly, the school depends on the assumption that parents want the school to make their children be a well-known and highly paid professional musicians. Even if some parents want it, but what if do most parents want to just hobby-level skills for their children? Moreover, it will be expensive to support a kid to be a professional musician than just give them another hobby.
Consequently, while the memo on the Mozart School of Music Web site looks attractive at first glance, it hinges upon four invalid assumptions. However, there are more factors pertaining to choosing a musical academy: the adequate level for kids, a suitable course for kids, the teaching skills of teachers, and an affordable tuition fees. Unless the author gives more information related to the above, it might be the unconvincing argument.
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e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 425 350
No. of Characters: 2094 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.54 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.927 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.677 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.238 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.104 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.294 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.556 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 430, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... kids perspectives and enough patience. Lastly, the school depends on the assump...
^^^^
Line 6, column 61, Rule ID: WEB_SITE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'website'?
Suggestion: Website
... the memo on the Mozart School of Music Web site looks attractive at first glance, it hi...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, however, if, lastly, look, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, third, thirdly, thus, well, while, of course, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2152.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 425.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06352941176 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77311462184 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515294117647 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 657.9 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.2257262058 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.476190476 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2380952381 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.19047619048 5.70786347227 143% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.443309923418 0.218282227539 203% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118693244636 0.0743258471296 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.115681769712 0.0701772020484 165% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.227137120234 0.128457276422 177% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.104295325684 0.0628817314937 166% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.72 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.