The author of the memo suggested that their new jazz music club in Monroe will be commercially successful since the fond toward jazz music within the population, the projected spending on entertainment, and the lack of jazz club in Monroe. The reasoning from the author seems convincing, but some questions were left unanswered and could possibly undermine her statement.
The author implies that the residents in Monroe are fascinated by jazz music by indicating that over 100,000 people attended the annual jazz festival, the best-rating radio program in Monroe is about jazz, and several popular jazz stars were from Monroe. Nevertheless, all these evidence rose questions about the association with the implication of the residents in Monroe favor jazz music. For example, the audience at the annual jazz festival weren't necessarily local; the jazz festival could be so famous that all jazz fans from adjacent cities were willing to travel to Monroe to participate the festival, while the local residents were merely a small group of the audience. And by pointing out that jazz is the most popular genre on radio programs couldn't lead to the conclusion that the residents likes jazz. Some critical questions, such as, the number of other radio programs in the region, the ratio of audience who listens to radio to the whole population, and the quality of programs from other radio stations, should be answered to further evaluate the statement. If 'Jazz Nightly' was the best radio program in the area for reasons other than the population indeed enjoy the program, the statement would be concluded unsupported.
Furthermore, the writer argued that the lack of jazz clubs and the projected expense on entertainment would lead to a commercial success for their new jazz club. Else, the question that what amount of money were the jazz fans willing to spend on a jazz club needs to be answered. If most of the $1,000 annual jazz expense were used on concerts and purchasing albums, there wouldn't be much money left for spending on a local jazz club; therefore starting a business of jazz club wasn't guaranteed to be successful.
In conclusion, the applicant should answer two critical questions, whether the local residents in Monroe were interested in jazz music or not and what amount of money were the jazz fans in the region were willing to spend on a jazz club, to make his loan application more convincing.
- The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise Currently the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away t 50
- The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth 66
- The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise Currently the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away t 60
- The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian a company that manufactures men s clothing Five years ago at a time when we had difficulty obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric we discontinued production of our 58
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 333, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'could'.
Suggestion: could
...some questions were left unanswered and could possibly undermine her statement. The author ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ld possibly undermine her statement. The author implies that the residents in Mo...
^^^
Line 3, column 446, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: weren't
...he audience at the annual jazz festival werent necessarily local; the jazz festival co...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 754, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...he most popular genre on radio programs couldnt lead to the conclusion that the residen...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 292, Rule ID: THE_PUNCT[1]
Message: Did you forget something after 'the'?
...z club needs to be answered. If most of the ,000 annual jazz expense were used on con...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 295, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...lub needs to be answered. If most of the ,000 annual jazz expense were used on con...
^^
Line 5, column 372, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...n concerts and purchasing albums, there wouldnt be much money left for spending on a lo...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 477, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...refore starting a business of jazz club wasnt guaranteed to be successful. In conc...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, if, nevertheless, so, therefore, while, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 33.0505617978 39% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 58.6224719101 101% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 12.9106741573 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2019.0 2235.4752809 90% => OK
No of words: 401.0 442.535393258 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0349127182 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47492842339 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65186614993 2.79657885939 95% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 215.323595506 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.471321695761 0.4932671777 96% => OK
syllable_count: 604.8 704.065955056 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 6.24550561798 0% => OK
Article: 13.0 4.99550561798 260% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.2370786517 59% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 23.0359550562 143% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.1226385646 60.3974514979 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 168.25 118.986275619 141% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.4166666667 23.4991977007 142% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.75 5.21951772744 148% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.343708975087 0.243740707755 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.153943737549 0.0831039109588 185% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.081904960785 0.0758088955206 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.236205894664 0.150359130593 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329278586565 0.0667264976115 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.0 14.1392134831 134% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.44 48.8420337079 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.1743820225 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.49 12.1639044944 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.7 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 100.480337079 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 11.8971910112 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.2143820225 136% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.7820224719 161% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 333, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'could'.
Suggestion: could
...some questions were left unanswered and could possibly undermine her statement. The author ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ld possibly undermine her statement. The author implies that the residents in Mo...
^^^
Line 3, column 446, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: weren't
...he audience at the annual jazz festival werent necessarily local; the jazz festival co...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 754, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...he most popular genre on radio programs couldnt lead to the conclusion that the residen...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 292, Rule ID: THE_PUNCT[1]
Message: Did you forget something after 'the'?
...z club needs to be answered. If most of the ,000 annual jazz expense were used on con...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 295, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...lub needs to be answered. If most of the ,000 annual jazz expense were used on con...
^^
Line 5, column 372, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...n concerts and purchasing albums, there wouldnt be much money left for spending on a lo...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 477, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...refore starting a business of jazz club wasnt guaranteed to be successful. In conc...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, if, nevertheless, so, therefore, while, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 33.0505617978 39% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 58.6224719101 101% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 12.9106741573 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2019.0 2235.4752809 90% => OK
No of words: 401.0 442.535393258 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0349127182 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47492842339 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65186614993 2.79657885939 95% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 215.323595506 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.471321695761 0.4932671777 96% => OK
syllable_count: 604.8 704.065955056 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 6.24550561798 0% => OK
Article: 13.0 4.99550561798 260% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.2370786517 59% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 23.0359550562 143% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.1226385646 60.3974514979 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 168.25 118.986275619 141% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.4166666667 23.4991977007 142% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.75 5.21951772744 148% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.343708975087 0.243740707755 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.153943737549 0.0831039109588 185% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.081904960785 0.0758088955206 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.236205894664 0.150359130593 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329278586565 0.0667264976115 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.0 14.1392134831 134% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.44 48.8420337079 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.1743820225 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.49 12.1639044944 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.7 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 100.480337079 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 11.8971910112 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.2143820225 136% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.7820224719 161% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.