As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate

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As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate

Look around the cities, and you will be marveled at what man has created. Right from the challenge of how to produce fire, man has invented technology for every problem it faced. Have you ever, imagined how difficult it would be to produce fire by hitting two stones together? A trial will convince you of how much effort that has gone into technological developments that we see or use today. Man invented technology to solve present and future problems. It is a neglect to the achievements of man to say therefore, that these technological innovations would eventually limit man's ability to think ...

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flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.6 21.0
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.262 0.35

It is on top list:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/gmatgre

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 6
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 390 350
No. of Characters: 1930 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.444 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.949 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.833 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.771 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.36 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.262 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.432 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

For sure you need to concentrate on the flaws we listed for you. for example, in this essay, the flaws:

Avg. Sentence Length: 15.6 21.0 means you still need to write more compound or complex sentences.

Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.262 0.35 means that you need to focus on the topic. Some of the sentences may be a little bit out of the topic.

To make sure get better marks, you need to:

1. read other top essays and think how to improve if you are going to write the same essays.

2. submit more essay to find out more hidden flaws that you need to pay attention in the future writing.