Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.
Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
Following the claim and the reason of the statement above, we can see there is a false causal relationship between the reason and the claim; although major cities should have enough money to thrive but it is not primarily to preserve nation’s cultural traditions. In what follows consider why.
The major cities need to receive a proportional budget to run the public schools, public universities, parks and so many urban services. But the major cities are the scene of both globalization and industrialization, the factors which are drastically against the national tradition of each nation.
Globalization mostly takes place in the major cities that we cannot recognize such regions as the preservation places for the national cultural traditions. Colors, scents, and rituals of cultural roots of a nation wanes where there are lots of people coming from different places of the world. People mix with each other and their culture as well. Consider the New York City, even ascribing a national culture to such a major city is barely possible because it is a combination of different people's culture. It is not wrong to say this town is a minimized globe. As people from the many parts of the world lives in a town, it is not culturally owned anymore to the native national people who lived before this situation. This is called globalization.
Industrialization is another surge sweeping away the differences among the cultures and is heading to uniform the world. With its own rules, businesses and industries determine the culture. After industrialization of a region, People talks become different, they have not enough time for their social gathering. The certain style of cloth, symbolic of a traditional culture, may not be proper in the work ambiance and so on. Hence, as far as businesses determine what to talk about, when to talk, what to wear and so on, there would not be enough rooms for the cultural traditions to take place.
Finally, between smaller parts of a country and major cities, it is not the latter one in which cultural traditions are preserved. Cities are mainly exposed to cultural changes. While marginal parts are more intact. The two main factors playing against the cultural traditions are less concentrated in the rural and marginal part. Thus, if there are any places to preserve the national traditions, they would be found in the more marginal parts rather than the major cities.
In short, as discussed, the major cities should have enough funds to provide municipal services not to preserve the traditional cultural traditions. Because even if there is a preservation of the cultural tradition, it can better take place in the more marginal parts.
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although major cities should have enough money to thrive but it is not primarily
Description: don't put 'although' 'but' in one sentence.
Sentence: After industrialization of a region, People talks become different, they have not enough time for their social gathering.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to People and talks
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 444 350
No. of Characters: 2192 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.59 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.937 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.762 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.304 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.42 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.478 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5