Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth and resources among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?Use your ow

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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth and resources among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and with relevant evidence.

Some school of thought believe that strong economies should aid the poor countries in terms of supporting them in their primary needs, while some others think it is due to the local governments to deal with such internal problems. Although both the parties have some strong justifications to support their ideas, I personally agree with the first group more because of several key factors including lack of resources in such poor economies, the fact that we are living in a global society.

The first important point I would like to mention is the fact that most of poor economies are suffering from lack of having enough facilities and resources in the fields such as education and food. As the first may lead to making them even poorer and also increases the amount of criminal actions and even worse in some cases potentially making some people to join terroristic groups. While the latter causes several unpleasant result such as children disability and death.

Another important thing is we should not forget all the people in the world are part of one community, the human being. Regardless of all the things makes us different, we all share the same biology. Therefore, as a human everybody should try his/her best to do what he can to make the world more pleasing place for the others. Moreover as it mentioned above, some of the negative results such as terrorism may directly affect the other nations including first world countries.

To put everything in a nutshell, supporting the poor countries to make a better life for their people will cause several pleasant results not only domestically but in some cases internationally and more importantly, it all is justified by humanity.

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Another important thing is we should not forget
Another important thing is that we should not forget

to make the world more pleasing place
to make the world a more pleasing place

flaws:
make some sentences shorter:
As the first may lead to making them even poorer and also increases the amount of criminal actions and even worse in some cases potentially making some people to join terroristic groups.

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Score: 6.5 out of 9
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No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
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No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 286 350
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No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.112 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.846 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.588 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.21 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.639 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.185 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5