Integrated toefl

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Integrated toefl

The reading passage and the lecture are both about the massive stone buildings in North America called Great houses of Chaco Canyon.The passage states that the great houses served several purposes such as they used for residential purposes, they used for storage of food and they were ceremonial centers.The professor, on the other hand disagrees with each of the theories presented in the reading. He states that they didn't serve all these funtions and provides supports to claim his findings.

First, the reading passage states that the great houses were used for residential purposes,the architecture of those buildings have some similarities with the modern south west society's apartments .However, the professor disagrees. He argues that the inside of these stone buildings don't have any similarities with modern apartments because they lack enough fire places required for all the families in one building.

Next, the author says that, the great houses were used for storing the food, especially maize. On this point too, the professor disagrees. He contends that, if the houses served the purpose of storage, we could have seen the remnants of maize as well as maize containers.

Finally, the passage states that, the massive stone buildings were served ceremonial purpose. The author explains that the archeologists found broken pots from the houses and they assumed that people gathered there for ceremonies. The professor rejects this theory also. He defends that the archeologists found not only broken pots but they also found construction materials and stones from the houses. He says that the pots were used by construction workers tho eat their food and they were not used for ceremonial purposes.

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Do you think I'm improving? I don't think I can pass the TOEFL exam. Can you please give me some suggestions.I wish to take the exam on next month.Can you please explain my weaknesses and where to improve?

such as they used for residential purposes, they used for storage of food and they were ceremonial centers.
Description: check books how to use 'such as'

the architecture of those buildings have some similarities
the architecture ... has some similarities

the archeologists found not only broken pots but they also found construction materials
Description: Not only...but also is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: He states that they didn't serve all these funtions and provides supports to claim his findings.
Error: funtions Suggestion: functions

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

Don't need to paraphrase the reasons in the introduction paragraph.

Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
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You are improved. But you still have grammar issues. You may read a good grammar book. and also you need to write sentences with varieties. Try not always use pronoun as subject.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 12
No. of Words: 277 250
No. of Characters: 1411 1200
No. of Different Words: 131 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.08 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.094 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.465 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.083 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.146 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.401 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.6 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.153 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4