Nowadays some people like to give help to the local community or provide people with direct help. Other people prefer to give money to national and international organizations. Discuss both of two ways and present your own opinion.
Presently, it is undeniably true that, international organization has found in everywhere to give a hand to local people that need a help by better-well community. Others have opposed that give a help directly is worth rather than through national or international organization that has focused on several fields only. While give an aid for local community has merits and demerits, I would argue that give a support directly for local community is the best way to help them.
On one hand, without giving money, community is more likely to give a real help for who have a right to get it. In several areas in the world people tend to give money as a sign that they have same feeling as people who directly attend in that condition. To illustrates, in the conflict zone such as several areas in middle-east, people need more specialist of medication instead of money which is one of evidence that money is not worth in the conflict places such as Afghanistan, Palestine and so on. They need volunteers that can bring out them from the horrible situation. Consequences, people have a prolonging life even though money is not the pivotal aspect.
On the other hand, the aid taken by people who live below poverty line does not spread-out properly as the authority who gives the money is unable to manage the funding as better as organization that has the data completely in terms of the people who will obtain the aid. Result shows that the United Nation as the international organization provides many programs such as UNICEF, as one program for children in Africa and refugee has the excellent result for people and children who need a help, go hand in hand with that program WHO, the health program for people around the world especially for war-zone countries, collects the funding from people worldwide to detect the drugs that can prevent the spread of Ebola virus that attack people in the Africa continent. This program from the aid of people around the world can help a thousand of human races in Africa especially. As a consequence, the funding transferred by wealthy people can be used for improving health and nutrition of human being. The aid is becoming more and more popular for inhabitants showing the awareness to other people.
The aforementioned evidence reveals that it seems giving money directly getting equal for merits and demerits. I concede that, the money from the wealth people should be able to support for the people in the places, where has a catastrophic problems. Where possible, I fear that the aid can be a novel issue in the future such as rampant corruption.
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a real help for who have a right to get it.
a real help for those who have a right to get it.
in the places, where has a catastrophic problems.
in the places where they have catastrophic problems.
flaws:
No. of Words: 445 while No. of Different Words: 198 //Need less but more efficient sentences
The essay topic didn't ask you compare two methods for help.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 445 350
No. of Characters: 2110 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.593 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.742 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.602 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.812 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.957 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.312 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.363 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5