Many young people today know more about international pop and movie stars than about famous people in the history of their country Why is this What can be done to increase young people s interest in famous people in the history of their country

Nowadays, young people have a passion for entertainment programs such as game shows, K.pop or movies,… but they are unaware of their country's own famous and historical people. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons for this and methods to encourage people to find out about their own history rather than the international pop and movie star characters.
Without a doubt, history is a main subject in educational institutions but the majority of students feel bored with it. Although teachers attempt to educate students about famous people in the history of their country, their method of approach is ineffective. Besides, people are usually knowledgeable of famous (influential) figures in their field. For example, if you are a chemical student and your passion is chemistry, of course you would be well acquainted with outstanding individuals in this field. On the other hand, international pop and movie stars have exceptional abilities and stunning looks, for a certainty they are remembered by the masses.
Social media continues to be a revolutionary tool in allowing strangers to infiltrate the personal lives of celebrities, so they use it to their advantage. The government can use the film industry to encourage domestic directors to make films or series about famous historical figures in their country. China is the leading country in this field, they use real characters in this country, this is not only famous in China but it also created a wave of Chinese movies in some Asian countries. . Besides, the education system also has other ways to transmit knowledge about famous celebrities in the country by some conferences or history research activities.
In short, history is very important to people and they have to change the way they convey it to students to achieve the goal that young people are interested in famous historical figures instead of famous celebrities or movie stars.

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Average: 7.3 (2 votes)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 101, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , …
...rams such as game shows, K.pop or movies,… but they are unaware of their countrys ...
^^
Line 3, column 492, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...Chinese movies in some Asian countries. . Besides, the education system also has ...
^
Line 3, column 572, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
... other ways to transmit knowledge about famous celebrities in the country by some conferences or h...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 199, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...in famous historical figures instead of famous celebrities or movie stars.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, if, look, so, well, for example, in short, of course, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 7.85571142285 38% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 1.0 7.30460921844 14% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 24.0651302605 116% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 41.998997996 112% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1601.0 1615.20841683 99% => OK
No of words: 309.0 315.596192385 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18122977346 5.12529762239 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1926597562 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8773126698 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 176.041082164 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.540453074434 0.561755894193 96% => OK
syllable_count: 502.2 506.74238477 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 34.574697717 49.4020404114 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.416666667 106.682146367 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.75 20.7667163134 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.33333333333 7.06120827912 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.445757596148 0.244688304435 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.161536898643 0.084324248473 192% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102047025754 0.0667982634062 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.285046381765 0.151304729494 188% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0684625987597 0.056905535591 120% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 13.0946893788 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 50.2224549098 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 11.3001002004 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.06 12.4159519038 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.02 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 78.4519038076 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 9.78957915832 148% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 101, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , …
...rams such as game shows, K.pop or movies,… but they are unaware of their countrys ...
^^
Line 3, column 492, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...Chinese movies in some Asian countries. . Besides, the education system also has ...
^
Line 3, column 572, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
... other ways to transmit knowledge about famous celebrities in the country by some conferences or h...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 199, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...in famous historical figures instead of famous celebrities or movie stars.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, if, look, so, well, for example, in short, of course, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 7.85571142285 38% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 1.0 7.30460921844 14% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 24.0651302605 116% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 41.998997996 112% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1601.0 1615.20841683 99% => OK
No of words: 309.0 315.596192385 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18122977346 5.12529762239 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1926597562 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8773126698 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 176.041082164 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.540453074434 0.561755894193 96% => OK
syllable_count: 502.2 506.74238477 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 34.574697717 49.4020404114 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.416666667 106.682146367 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.75 20.7667163134 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.33333333333 7.06120827912 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.445757596148 0.244688304435 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.161536898643 0.084324248473 192% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102047025754 0.0667982634062 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.285046381765 0.151304729494 188% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0684625987597 0.056905535591 120% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 13.0946893788 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 50.2224549098 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 11.3001002004 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.06 12.4159519038 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.02 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 78.4519038076 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 9.78957915832 148% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.