The following is a recommendation from the personnel director to the president of Acme Publishing Company.
"Many other companies have recently stated that having their employees take the Easy Read Speed-Reading Course has greatly improved productivity. One graduate of the course was able to read a five-hundred-page report in only two hours; another graduate rose from an assistant manager to vice president of the company in under a year. Obviously, the faster you can read, the more information you can absorb in a single workday. Moreover, Easy Read costs only $500 per employee — a small price to pay when you consider the benefits to Acme. Included in this fee is a three-week seminar in Spruce City and a lifelong subscription to the Easy Read newsletter. Clearly, Acme would benefit greatly by requiring all of our employees to take the Easy Read course."
The argument mentioned above show a recommendation from personal director to the president of Acme publishing company. The recommendation is related to taking a speed- reading course for increasing productivity of employees. The director has said that many company has used these courses and they have gained some positive results. Also, he mentions that the price of these classes are low and it would be beneficial for Acme to use these courses for its employees. I believe that there are not enough persuasive reasons for taking these courses and the recommendation had been stronger if the director would have more evaluations and comparisons about the courses and the features of Acme company and other companies.
The director of speed- reading courses just because some companies used them and they had positive results. It is possible that the productivity of other companies depends on the speed-reading of employees. But whether the Acme company also has the same condition compared to other companies. Do the employees in Acme have any problem in reading? Do they really need to improve their reading? There is no any complain about the speed-reading of employees. So, if the writer wants to convince the president of Acme to accept the using of these courses, He/ she has to provide some data or information which can show the weakness of the employees.
Also, the writer only has rendered two positive samples from these courses. Are they enough cogent to show that these courses are useful? The first of shows that the graduate after the course can read a five-hundred-page report in only two hours. There is no any information about the pages that the graduate would be able to read. How does the writer know that the graduate has progressed? How do we can know about amount of progression? There are no enough statistical figures for comparison of graduates’ performance. Another sample, shows that the graduate has got a promotion in his /her job. What is the relationship between the speed-reading course and this promotion? There is no clear relationship. How the director can prove that these courses have caused the graduate to progress in his jobs. The sample rendered by writer had be more valid if he/ she would have provided more persuasive reasons to show that the person had promoted in job as a result of passing these courses.
The writer says that Easy Read costs only $500 per employee — a small price to pay when you consider the benefits to Acme. Included in this fee is a three-week seminar in Spruce City and a lifelong subscription to the Easy Read newsletter. The price of course for one employee is 500, we have to consider that the total price that Acme has to pay for the numbers of employees is also economical or not. This should be checked according to the budget of Acme. Also, we have to know that the price of course is paid by Acme or employees. $ 500 may be expensive for one employee with middle-income. So, id the course seems expensive people ignore the benefits.
In conclusion, the recommendation of the director has to be checked more. According to his / her argument, we cannot say exactly the speed-reading course is beneficial to Acme company.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 33 15
No. of Words: 542 350
No. of Characters: 2599 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.825 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.795 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.746 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 173 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 138 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.424 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.265 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.394 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.342 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5