"Unfortunately, in contemporary society, creating an appealing image has become more important than the reality or truth behind that image."
The statement contends that creating an appealing image in modern society has become more important than the truth behind it. I concede with it as everyone wants to appear attractive, happy and wealthy to mantain a reputable image in the society even if they have to deceit others into believing that.
With the technological advances came internet and social media and along with it started the rat race to appear wealthy and happy all the time. A clear example can be seen when hardly anyone posts about their struggles but evryone boasts about their achievements. Abundant media articles about celebrities buying houses, cars, going on vacations are published everyday but hardly any about their struggles, which is a clear proof that people are only interested if you are successful. This encourages people to mantain an appealing image even at the cost of their mental health.
Humans are social creatures. So, the constant urge to fit in has made almost everyone at some point in their life do something that they didn’t like just because others were doing it. Politicians give promises and expectations to people even when they know those cannot be fulfilled just for winning. They mantain a generous, philanthropic image for their own selfish gains.
In general, I agree with the statement as with time, the notion of being percieved by others as successful has become more important than actually being successful. People are directed towards doing things for the sake of fitting in which has in turn resulted in deterioration of mental health.
- Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless in fact they actually prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals 50
- Teachers salaries should be based on their students academic performance 75
- Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed 66
- Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country 58
- The effectiveness of a country s leaders is best measured by examining the well being of that country s citizens 50
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 361, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
... cars, going on vacations are published everyday but hardly any about their struggles, w...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, if, so, in general
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.5258426966 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 12.4196629213 16% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 14.8657303371 47% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 33.0505617978 70% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 58.6224719101 60% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 3.0 12.9106741573 23% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1313.0 2235.4752809 59% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 256.0 442.535393258 58% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12890625 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.0 4.55969084622 88% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59497041601 2.79657885939 93% => OK
Unique words: 152.0 215.323595506 71% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.59375 0.4932671777 120% => OK
syllable_count: 407.7 704.065955056 58% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.2370786517 59% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.8373256174 60.3974514979 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.416666667 118.986275619 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3333333333 23.4991977007 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.75 5.21951772744 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.210079308374 0.243740707755 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0892013684355 0.0831039109588 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.168664413419 0.0758088955206 222% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151717903138 0.150359130593 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.16321528438 0.0667264976115 245% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.1392134831 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.1639044944 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 55.0 100.480337079 55% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.