Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such high salaries? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
In today’s world , many athletes and entertainers earn lots of many every year. All these people work hard and live harsh thing until coming to this point maybe but to me this is distinctly unfair. In different parts of the world, lots of people are dying due to starving. But what is the main reasons to cause this kind of conclusion?
Nowadays, the european countries are struggling to overcome economic crisis. Many people are dismissed from their work or deductions are made in their salaries. They are working all day including overtime but the results are same. Every country is raising to go strike one by one but why are they doing these? Only small amount of money is given which provides them continue their lifes. One side is in that situation but what about others like singers,athletes or entertainers? They show up only a few hours and take million of dollars. This is the one reason of indicating the inequity.
Another point is that every year , millions of university students graduate from their schools and try to get a step in the door. More interestingly,these people can not find the job and start to earn money .At this point, if we look deep into famous or these rich people’s pasts, almost none of them have a proper education maybe they have luck or being at the right place at the right time.
Is it so hard to see that one part is living in good conditions and another one is plunging. As a case in point, ı have a prominent friend singing in the club. She earns so much money in the one night. Conversely, my sister is a teacher working all days and gets money solely to cover her rent. This is the just one example to demonstrate the facts.
To sum up, these famous people don’t deserve such a high salary while many of us are trying to survive. I think governments should go through this problem to impede disparity.
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flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 16 21.0
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.257 0.35
The examples you used may have problem: 'some people like teachers have little salary' doesn't mean 'Others like singers can't have high salary'. Maybe it is not fair.
Let us know if you don't agree.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? in 30
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 336 350
No. of Characters: 1475 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.281 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.39 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.285 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 82 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.591 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.257 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.484 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5