Modern lifestyle has made it harder for people to live a healthy and active lifestyle. What are the causes of this situation? Suggest what can be done by the government and large organisations to improve it.
With the burgeon economy development in our current societies, individual strive to work harder and thus ignored the importance of lifestyle balance. This gave rise to concern in current people lifestyle which focuses more on their career rather than health. In this essay, we will look into the cause of this issue and how we can improve with the help of politicians and large organizations.
First and foremost, the main reason of the rise of this concern is due to the imbalance in lifestyle. Corporate companies and organizations have been looking into ways to reduce their expenses and increase their profit. In order to do so, employers want their employees to multitask and increase their workscope to reduce labour. This resulted in employees needing to work overtime to complete their work. A survey done by Labour Work Organisation International (LWOI) on 50 top corporate businesses on March 2015 showed 80% of employees commented that they have to multitask and work out of their workscope due to the reduction in labour. In addition, with the increase in cost of living, our current societies is living in a world of competition rather than focusing on healthy lifestyle. Individuals are focused on ways to earn more in order to satisfy their materialistic wants and needs. Besides that, healthy and active lifestyle is hardly affordable for many as increase in our food cost and unsafe environment is also a concern.
Looking into the causes, policymakers and large organizations can definitely contribute to encourage individuals to look into focusing into health and active lifestyle. Government can work together with their local farmers and agricultural sector to reduce the cost of affordable food. For instance, Thailand government has incorporate with their Thailand Royal Family to launch the “King Royal Project For Agriculture” where intensive support is given to farmers to support them in their practice to bring benefit to the society. Besides that, policymakers can look into their working with local councils to emphasize in the security of their environment. This can bring benefits to allow their people to rediscover the safety of their environment and reduce their fears from coming out from their shelter to exercise.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that government and large organizations can contribute into redirecting their individuals lifestyles. Thus, individuals need to understand that losing their health is irreversible and money will not be able to buy back your health once it deteriorate.
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individual strive to work harder
individuals strive to work harder
our current societies is living in a world of competition
our current societies are living in a world of competition
Sentence: This gave rise to concern in current people lifestyle which focuses more on their career rather than health.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and lifestyle
as increase in our food cost and unsafe environment is also a concern.
as the increase in our food cost and unsafe environment is also a concern.
Thailand government has incorporate with their Thailand Royal Family
Thailand government has incorporated with their Thailand Royal Family
Sentence: Thus, individuals need to understand that losing their health is irreversible and money will not be able to buy back your health once it deteriorate.
Description: The fragment it deteriorate . is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace deteriorate with verb, past tense
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Words: 403 while No. of Different Words: 199
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 403 350
No. of Characters: 2096 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.48 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.201 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.848 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.832 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.494 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5