Some people think that there are benefits to going to private secondary schools. Others feel that private secondary schools can have a negative effect on the society as a whole. What is your opinion? Support it with examples according to your knowledge or experience.
With the changes in educational system, parents hold the choice to send their children to private secondary schools which can bring advantage for their children. However, some thinks otherwise. In my opinion, I accord that while private secondary schooling certain carries some benefits, it also contributed to some drawbacks to the society.
Studying in private secondary school can be fruitful as they are educated to international level of education and also able to provide better facilities for the students. The syllabus adopted by private secondary school are on par with international standard which may benefits for students intended to study aboard in the future. Besides that, private schools are able to provide fancy facilities such as providing laptop for each students to encourage learning on use of technology gadgets to search for resources. With most private schools focusing more on the use of English language, students were able to develop better communication skills and could be lucrative for their future.
Although studying in private secondary school are an advantage, there are also some clear drawbacks that effect on the society. Due to the expensive tuition fees, only students with wealthy and rich parents can afford to send their children to private institutions. They tend to compare with each other on owning of extravagant branded items like bags and shoes and therefore resulted in negligence in their studies. This indirectly bridge a gap in between the students and therefore, the existence of status between students. For instance, those who are able to purchase luxuries items are the leaders and those unable to afford will be labeled as the followers. Hence, this might contributes to psychological problems in students due to bullying issues.
To recapitulate, studying in private secondary schools can bring great advantages to some, however, it is important to bare in mind that it can also lead to social and psychological issues for some.
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Sentence: However, some thinks otherwise.
Description: The word some is not usually used as an adverb
Suggestion: Refer to some
Sentence: The syllabus adopted by private secondary school are on par with international standard which may benefits for students intended to study aboard in the future.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to may and benefits
Sentence: Besides that, private schools are able to provide fancy facilities such as providing laptop for each students to encourage learning on use of technology gadgets to search for resources.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and students
Although studying in private secondary school are an advantage,
Although studying in private secondary school is an advantage,
This indirectly bridge a gap
This indirectly bridges a gap
this might contributes to
this might contribute to
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 314 350
No. of Characters: 1643 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.21 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.232 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.712 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.987 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.072 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5